Dearest SAM,

:):

Honestly? I have so much to say... To be honest, I'm in so much pain. The truth is, gustong-gusto kong manakit at manumbat sa sakit. I feel so lonely and I feel so betrayed and not at the same time.

No amount of words can describe what I'm feeling. The word pain even can barely contain the feeling.

Sa sobrang sakit, ang dami nang salita ang gusto kong bitawan. Sharp and painful words. Even words of forgiveness. Sabay-sabay habang naiyak ako.

Pero...

Mahal na mahal ko parin kayo at ayokong manumbat. Because I loved you with all my heart and a smile on my face. I accepted the pain repeatedly and smiled through it all.

Ayokong manubat because that would void all my tries and doings. And I don't want that.

Out of all the pain and sadness, kahit naiwanan ako, I genuinely hope for the best. I hope and wish for you to find your happiness and keep it for the rest of your lives.

Kahit hindi na ako kasama.

Kahit walang thank you.

I just want your happiness in the end.

I've been hurt by two people in various, terrible degrees. And no amount of apology can probably atone for that.

Pero okay lang.

Okay lang basta't in the end you'll find the happiness I've been dying to give you. Okay lang kahit wala na ko dun. Okay lang kahit sa ibang tao niyo mahanap yun. Okay lang kahit hindi niyo na ko tingnan pabalik. I just really hope for the best.

I just hope for your happiness. And I hope you know that.

Because in the end, kahit sobrang sakit--all of it is worth it basta maging masaya kayo in the end.

I hoped that one day, ten years from now, you regret ever leaving me. But more than that, I know that what I want for you the most is happiness and joy and love.

Ten years from now... And even a lot longer than that, I hope to hear that you're happy.

Just like what I want you to be the moment I stepped in your life.

I hope you know and remember that even how much pain I'm buried in, even how much betrayal I feel, I still love you guys the most.

And that wouldn't change.

Thank you for lending an ear.

I love you,

S A M.