It was about December her aunt had just passed. She had been bullied all her life so she was naturally always depressed, but this made it even worse. She was close to her and it had torn her apart. It was her dads sister so he was depressed too. He had became angry at himself because the last conversation they had was an argument . He took event bit of anger out on her. She had 3 sisters but she wad the only child that lived with him for her parents split when she was 5. She couldn't stand the look of herself. She started hitting rock bottom, she felt there was no way out of this pit of depression. She started wondering if she still felt like others, bled like others. So she started cutting herself, jest a few cuts on her arms and legs at first then she started feeling like it lifted the weight off of her shoulders for a day or so. She started cutting deeper and more frequently. Yet she knew how to make it look like she was perfectly fine. Her dad left often to west Virginia for work. He had her step brother and his fiancé watch her and the house. They never paid any attention to what she was doing. She knew it wax the perfect time and type suffering, pain & sorrow. She went upstairs to her room and took out the anti depressants and sleeping medication given to her by the doctor about 30 in each bottle 10 by 10 she popped them in her mouth and swallowed them down. She went back down stairs and fell asleep hoping it would be the last time she closed her eyes. Hours later lower than ever she awoke, vomiting. She had no idea that you couldn't overdose on the medication she was prescribed . she called her dad because in type moment she thought this wad probably apart of dying and dialed her fathers number to say her goodbye. 'Dad, in dying" was the only thing she thought to say. ' im getting sick everywhere' . he laughed thinking it was just the flu. She couldn't worry her dad, its probably kill him literally, he had already had 4 strokes. He told her he loved her and if she was still sick by the time he got home the next day hed go out buy her some medicine and Gatorade. She never told anybody about her wanting to end it or that she had even attempted it.
A couple months passed. She was staying at her aunt and uncles and she was fed up with holding everything in she wanted to release everything she was bottling up inside. She had begun smoking a lot and her father had found out he was furious. He barged into her aunt and uncles house and instantly started yelling at her. 'You don't even know why your smoking! Your not sad your always happy so you can't say its stress!' her eyes watering up, she was silent for a couple of seconds furious that he couldn't see it. So she let it out she told the truth. She lifted her sleeves while yelling ' does it look like im happy!?!' she continued to go on about why and how she's been faking it. And it wasnt just him that felt alone, tired, lost & depressed. The only words that came out his mouth was ' im taking you to the sphyc ward and im leaving you there, im not coming back.
She went into a therapy group for teens. She was there 8 hours everyday. She still lived with her father because after a while he noticed she really did feel the way she said . he was committed to making her feel better and wanted. He spent more time with her. And she begun to feel happy again. Finally.
