Me, Myself, and Harry Styles

Chapter 16

Arden woke me up from my nap. She tried lightly nudging me, then proceeded to blast music in my ear. 

"God, shut it off!" I screeched.

"As long as you are fully awake!" She jumped on the bed.

"I hate you."

"I know." She got off the bed and grabbed a black dress out of my suitcase, pairing it with leather black heels from her stuff and threw the collective items on the bed. Specifically, on me.

"Does the diva popstar have to have someone else do everything for her?" She teased. She pulled me onto a chair and straightened my hair. After getting me clothed, she did my makeup. I was wearing red lipstick and had a smoky eye. I was eventually awake enough to check my phone, the time read 8:27. Right after I saw the time, Harry called me.

"What do you want?" I spat.

"Well, considering we are getting married, I wanted to see how you're doing.."

"Before I tell you my state of being, ould you slightly care to explain who you were with the other night?" I got a couple of worried looks from Arden. Julia then walked in through the door. I turned back to my phone.

"She was an old friend, well, an old girlfriend. We dated back when I was like 14." he exhaled.

"I thought you were on tour and 'didn't have time for others'." I squinted my eyes.

"We just met up, we aren't romantically involved or anything.'' He pleaded.

"Whatever."

"Love you,"

"Bye," I hung up. I know I might be a little strict and everything with him, but with the public nowadays... you don't know when something is true. The media ruins everything for celebrities. That's why famous couples rarely ever work. I just hope that we aren't one of those couples.

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We pulled up to the club, arm in arm. It was Arden, Julia and I. Just like back in high school. Julia was in red, I was in black, and Arden was in dark grey. We looked stunning, if I do say so myself. It was kind of sad, walking into the heated tangled mess of dancing bodies. The last time I was at a club, Eleanor was with me. The doctors said that she was getting better, that she was slowly remembering. Keyword: slowly. 

Her parents said that maybe Louis and I could visit sometime, and try to jog her memory. It was sweet that her parents were with her 24/7. And, I constantly wish that I could be there with her.

Whenever I walk by a shop, memories of us shopping come back. 

Whenever I see Louis, more memories.

Whenever I see myself. Memories.

They don't stop, ever. And it becomes more painful when they come. But, it's all getting better. Because I know that she will someday remember the memories with me, like how it used to be. 

"Liz? Liz!" Julia was waving her hand in front of my face.

"Huh?" My eyes opened widely.

"We were asking you why you and Harry were getting at each other earlier..."

"Oh, did you see the pictures online, yet?" I asked.

"The ones with him and Abigail something?" she replied. I nodded and sighed.

"I don't think they were doing anything intimate or anything I'm just tired and.." she pulled me into a hug.

"It's okay," She pulled away from the hug and had her hand resting on my arm assuringly."We are ALL tired, and you are under tons of stress. Let's just have fun, catch up with Arden, and then you can go ahead and sleep at the hotel. Okay?"

"You just made the bed at the hotel sound ten times more comfortable," I groaned. She laughed,

"Come on, I think I see Carly Rae Jaepsen over there," she encouraged. The rest of the night at the club was complete with dancing and laughter. Arden told us about her career, blossoming on Broadway. Julia spoke of her boyfriend, Seth, and how they were doing much better than her and Liam ever did. We didn't get drunk, we stayed buzzed with content over our lives.

I remembered when Julia and I had first become friends. We were merely four years old, living next door to each other. We had grown up together, and got on each other's nerves plenty of times. But, we still got over it, no matter how bad it got. It was kind of funny how that translated into life, now.

And, I remembered Arden, when we had first met through school. I thought she was a bitch, she thought I was a bitch. And then, something life changing happened. We had become bitches together. We constantly lied to each other, it got in the way of so many things. But, one day we realized that lying was pointless, and that was the same day that made us realize that we had grown out of being stupid teenagers. 

So basically, these girls largely helped me become who I am, right now, sitting at this bar. They aided in so many things. And, sitting here now basically thanked them for doing so. We were done with the club, and walked through the crowd of cameras, feeling like 14 year olds again. It was weird, like younger me and present me were walking hand in hand. 

And then I realized,

I have no doubts about who I am. I am confident with the decisions that I have made. I have lived in this body for twenty three years now, through good times and bad. I am basically married to myself, whether I like it or not. I got back to the hotel with a new-found feeling, longing and regret.  

I don't think that I should be getting married. Laying here in bed, about to wedding dress shop tomorrow fills me with doubt. This scares me to death.

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"Get up, you sleepy head and roll your body out of bed!" My mom sang. She tore the covers off me and sat down next to me. She was fully ready, dressed with hair and makeup done.  I grumbled and stood up. I got dressed in a red blazer with a black wavy shirt underneath. I threw on boyfriend jeans and high heeled black suede TOMS. I crimped my hair and did my makeup, trying to pull off a look that I saw Zooey Deschanel wear earlier this week. My bridal party was waiting in the lobby to get into the Cadillac with me. I put on my black Chanel sunglasses and hoisted my black leather Louis Vuitton onto my shoulder. We braved the flashing paparazzi and traveled to Kleinfield. With each passing second,  dread filled my stomach. I took deep breaths to try to stop it, but it didn't stop.