Apologies.

"Hey babe, I'm sorry I couldn't video chat before the show. I didn't know you texted me. Is everything okay? I'm coming home tonight, remember? We'll be back together very soon. I love you so much! I can't wait to see you!"

"Darling, you didn't pick me up at the airport! I can't believe your forgot about your Ash. I'm joking, please let me in? Did I make you mad, sweetheart? I'm sorry if I did. I'm getting scared now, please let me in. Why'd you lock the door? Please love, let me in. Please!"

"There we go! I finally got the lock to o- Oh my Word! Wake up! Please wake up! Please princess, please wake up, look, I'm home. Come on sweetheart, open your eyes. Let me see them. Please!"

"I tried to wake you up, baby. You wouldn't open those beautiful eyes of yours. You wouldn't wake up for me. I held you for hours. I couldn't believe I wasn't there for you. I should've been holding your hand, wiping your tears. I should've been there, and I wasn't. I don't understand why you did it. Maybe I wasn't good enough. I wasn't enough to make you believe you are beautiful. Were beautiful. You're not here anymore."

"I have the ring on a chain around my neck. Some people laugh, and they wonder why a drummer of a pretty famous band always wears a diamond ring around his neck. I couldn't get rid of it. It's like a keep a part of you with me. I refuse to take it off. It reminds me how suddenly a life can be taken. Everyday I wish it had been me instead. I don't know if that would've helped anything, but I know I wouldn't be haunted with the constant memory of my fiancé. You'll never get married, you know. Not to me, not to anyone. I miss you."

"The boys are being really sweet. They don't make me do anything I don't want to do. They're being patient with me, and babe, I know they loved you as well. I can see it in them when they sing. And when they look at me. I can't stand the pain in their eyes when they look at me. I have had to walk away quite a few times, just so I wouldn't have to face them. Why is it so hard to see them?"

"I decided on it today. I know what's going to happen, I know when, and I know how. I'm the only one who knows. The other day, Calum found cuts on Michael's wrist. I know it's stressing us all out. You were Mike's best friend, and you left him. You left all of them. You left me. But I'm getting better now. I'm better now that I know."

"Now, you're wondering why this entry is different from the other ones. It'll be a little bit longer. I just wanted you to know that I love you, and now I get to see you again. I'm bringing your ring. We can get married now. The boys will be okay. They won't have me to remind them of you. It'll all be okay. I'm going to try to do it with my eyes open. Is that possible?

I couldn't get you to open your eyes for me. They won't be able to get mine to close. It works out perfectly, in the end. It's all going to be okay. The boys are going to scream when they find me. Even worse when they find this journal, and realize the last entry is written in my blood. I'll see you soon, my love. We're going to be together. Nothing can separate us now. I'm coming, sweetheart. I'm coming."