The A.I

Chapter 8

The week back from Taehyung's vacation is the worst one yet. Worse than realizing there's something between him and Jeongguk. Worse than the shame of almost getting off to thoughts of the black haired droid. He lacks the motivation to work, making each day drag on. The ticking of the clock in his office is loud, ringing through the silence as if mocking him for being so useless and getting himself in this situation, driving him crazy until he finally just leaves to cool off. He's taken more walks than done any work but he can't bring himself to care. The best part of his day-having lunch with his friends ceases, Taehyung declining every invite to be around them. He doesn't attend to the pipers either and that he feels bad about, making him feel even more upset and useless. It's his goddamn job to handle their upgrades but instead he leaves very specific orders for his team, trusting them to take care of everything.

He can't be around the other, not when his relationship is spiraling so fast it leaves him reeling. He's too weak. He knows the second he steps into the lab, Jeongguk will sense his distress and wrap him in his arms. He's warm his core once Taehyung starts to shiver and coo words of comfort and bad jokes until the human lets out a wet giggle. Those pretty fingers will wipe away his tears and run through his hair soothingly until he falls asleep, tired from his tears and broken heart. Maybe even place a soft kiss to his hair once he's asleep. He knows that Jeongguk can make him forget, can make him feel again because that's the problem, isn't it.

He got his heart broken by the love of his life, the man he thought he could trust with everything, gave his everything to. And now he doesn't feel anything. The normal need to return every smile directed his way is gone. The mischievous sparkle that appears in his eyes when he teases and flirts with the cafeteria vendors or jokes around with his friends is dull, leaving his eyes lifeless. He can't even bring himself to smile when he walks past his father's office and sees the blush on his face when Seokjin leans in too close for comfort. He doesn't find enjoyment in watching Hoseok, Jimin and Yoongi dance around each other. His favorite food tastes like ash in his mouth and even drinking coffee doesn't chase away the lingering exhaustion laying heavy on his bones.

He's a shell. Every now and then, thoughts of Chris will rise a spark of anger in his chest and he'll feel something but it never lasts. As soon as it comes, it disappears, leaving him feeling hollow with self-pity and resentment. Because it always boils down to him, doesn't it. He's the one who wasn't good enough as usual. He wasn't the perfect boyfriend he was supposed to be, leading Chris to avoid him. He's too overbearing and needy, constantly requiring confirmation of their feelings through words and touch, which most wouldn't like. He's the one who obviously didn't provide enough that the elder felt the need to go behind his back. Maybe he should have just gone along with it. Chris is right. It's not like he ever uses the money but, isn't it the principle of things?

He's still not sure what to think about his accusations. His heart is screaming at him to shut up and go back to the way things were before but his brain remains steadfast. Taehyung doesn't know if he's been cheating on him or not and the look on Chris's face at the accusations cuts deeply. It wasn't easy to say, his heart shattering into a million pieces and ripping him apart from the inside but the baffled and hurt expression on his face was so much worse. He wants to take the words back, replace them with loving praises into his skin but he doubts he'll be any better at that. God, Taehyung. Why can't you do anything right?

Tears prickle his eyes and he's honestly surprised he has any left to give. His skin feels tight over his bones, his body aches, and he knows he looks a mess. His previously well-fitted clothes hang off his frame like expensive rags over dull skin and greasy hair. The bags under his eyes are almost purple with the lack of sleep. Each time he closes his eyes, warring images of Jeongguk and Chris plague him, taunting him. Every previous happy memory replays in his dreams, only now they're nightmares that have him jolting out of bed with a scream lodged in his throat.