The Untold Secrets Of Anna Winslet.

1. Mask

She wasn't like the rest.

The ones who hide their true emotions by smiling or posing. She was an book, only I could read. I think it was her eyes, the way they twinkled if she was happy, although this was rare. She was rarely happy and I don't blame her. People are complete assholes.

Any memory I have of her, has been twisted by my own mind. I used to see a girl who was curious and determined and strong. Now all I see is a girl who was desperate to hold on to life. Why didn't I see that before? That question has been floating around in my mind for some time. It has still yet to be answered.

Schools holding a memorial in her honour like killing yourself is a good thing. The school's only doing it so they won't feel so shity about themselves. These people spent hours with her everyday but no one noticed, not even me. When people ask if you're okay, they don't actually want an answer, they just want to feel better about themselves. They want to know that even if you're drowning inside, it doesn't matter because they asked you if you were okay so that means they're in the clear. That they care? People don't care unless you're pretty or dead.

'Yo James, watch where you're going!'

I turn and see a black car speed past me. Well could of been worse, right? I could of died- maybe dying isn't a bad thing. I never really thought about it till this year but now it's all I seem to care about.

I'm currently on my way to the hell hole that drove Anna to kill herself; Middleton High School.

You see, I'm not what they call 'popular' but I'm not a complete freak. I'm in the middle. I like that. People want to be popular however, I see the 'popular' people all the time ( I take the school photos for balls and stuff) and they never look happy. They wear forced smiles and have tons of makeup on their faces to hide their insecurities.

That's why I like Anna, she was so different.

Jake Eddin is my closest friend. I don't have a lot because I'm social awkward and kinda hate people. Jake has normal brown eyes, normal brown hair, normal brown everything. He's alright, not fake, keeps himself to himself.

"James, how's life my friend?" Jake asks surprisingly in a good mood. He broke up with his on//off girlfriend three days ago so he been in a crap mood since then.

"Whoa, someone learnt how to smile again!" I say sarcastically. "You and Beth back on?"

"Nahh, chick's crazy! We need time apart for a bit, see how it goes, you know."

"Yeah, I really need to develop these photos otherwise Mrs Bates will kill me. See you in a bit."

"Okay buddy, save you a seat in chem."

The bell rings and everyone hurries off to class, expect a few populars who are probably planning on wagging lessons.

I'm on my way to the art studio, where the dark room is. That's where I can develop my photos if you didn't know. I like it in there, it's always empty and quiet. Away from all the bullshit.

Within a few minutes, my photos are hung up waiting to dry. I'm just going to wait until they do and miss chem. The photos are ones I took awhile back and I'm positive Anna might be on them. I don't want her to be on them. To see her but not be able to speak to her- it would be torture.

I remember when I first saw her, the second day of fall on the courtyard. She was wearing a bright pink scarf that made her green eyes stand out and she was smiling. She wore a matching pink beanie, her blonde locks danced in wind. I swear time just froze for a few seconds. She and Kate were laughing at something on her phone. But I couldn't look away, there was something about her that fascinated me. The bell rang and it snapped me out of my trance.

The photos are done.

#1 : Chad and Lucas are doing shots while Mike cheers them on.
#2 : Mary is dancing on the table.
#3 : Jake and Beth are arguing.
#4 : Jacob and Andrew are having a dance together. This is after they announced that they were dating.
#5 : Mr Nickles is holding a tiara and crown for the Prom King and Queen.
#6 : Lucas and Mary won. Obviously they are popular.
#7 : Jake and Beth are arguing again... but I see someone in the background. Green eyes, blonde hair, cute little button nose... Anna. Oh god, this was the night of Prom - the day she killed herself. I didn't even know she was there, why didn't I see her? I could of stopped her before she... before she killed herself. Why was she there? Everyone hated her, except me, however she hardly spoke to me more than once.
#8 : Stacey and Glenn are singing on stage. Anna's in the background again, arguing with someone familiar. I can't make out his face, he has his back towards me. Who is he? Or her?

The person is wearing a blue navy shirt and black trousers. I look at all the other photos, to see if I recognise anyone.

Nope... nope... holy crap!!
Of course that back looked familiar - it's Jake. Jake, the guy who called Anna 'a fake attention seeking whore' and insisted he never spoke to her but heard rumours about her. Is this why him and Beth split up because he was hooking up with Anna?? Why didn't he tell me?

He spoke to Anna, my Anna.

I need to speak to Jake now.

      ****

First chapter complete. It may seem a bit predictable now but hopefully later on it won't be.

Do you like James? I kinda based him on Clay and Tyler (13 reasons why). He's kind like Clay but takes pictures like Tyler. He isn't a creep like Tyler though!