Look At Me

Remember, that I'm not a native English-speaker and there might be some mistakes here! Please, tell me if you find some!

And please, take this seriously. I poured my heart into these words so don't joke or make fun of this.

~~~

Look at me. No. Don't look away. Glance at me. Forget about everything, cancel all important things, don't think about anything and just look at me

Look at me from afar. How do I look like? Do I look like a beautiful person? Who do I remind you? And now, come closer. No, closer! Yes, good.Tell me, how do I look like now? Was my appearence different, when I was standing in the distance or not? Are you dissapointed? Are you happy? What do you feel, while looking at me?

Begin form my face. Look at it. Be attentive. Don't loose any part of my skin. Consider every birthmark, every wrinkle. Look at my skin, its  colour. Tell me, do I have any flaws? Wait, no. Keep silence. I know, I have them. Look at my lips. Look at them. Desiccated and bitten. By the way, over there, my lips are still bleeding. No, do not rush to withdraw from their sight. See how their curve is changing, when I'm smiling or laughing, when I'm frowning, when I'm biting them. How do you like them the most?

After that, I suggest you look at my nose. Consider its shape. Look, how I wrinkle it, while looking at sun or how my nostrils are swelling, when I'm suffering from heat.

Look at it.

Look at my eyebrows and forehead. My eyebrows of a strange shape and wide, and you can clearly see some wrinkles on my forehead, despite on my young age. My small scar above my forehead is not making me beautiful, as well. Scars do not adorn nor man, nor woman. Scars are results of pain. This one is not and exception.

Look at my ears. I've taken off my earrings and now the holes are a bit bloodshot .I don't like my ears. I think they are too big and bulgy. This is why, you'll never see, how I take back the hair behind my ears, exposing them to the public.

Perahps, after looking at my ears you have to pay attention to my hair. You can touch it. Yeah, play with it, try to braid it, I dare you. However, my hair is short and it's unlikely that you'll be able to braid it. Tell me, is it soft? Do you like its smell? I hope, that your answer is 'yes'. Keep looking at it. It's always a bit disheveled, this is why you may think that I never brush it in the morning, despite it's not true. What? What is this white strand? Ah, it's just a couple of gray hair! Well done, you're looking carefully just like I've asked you.

And now, look me in the eyes. No, don't be ashamed, don't look away. It breaks my heart.I beg you, at least now, look in them without looking away. Look in my eyes for an hour or two. I will be happy. I will have the time to look into yours. Look in my eyes with all your tenderness and care, that you have. Collect them all to the last drop and pour it into the look. I'm not asking for anything more. One such look is enough.

Keep staring into my eyes. Look at every spot, every shadow that comes from the eyelashes. Look at my pupils, look at everything that is in my eyes. Note, how my eyelashes are shaking and how my pupils have expanded. Perhaps, you've already noticed dark circles under my eyes. I have them because of the many sleepless nights. I won't tell you the reason of my insomnia. You have to guess it without any hints. Wanna try?

Look into my eyes more carefully .Look at all my tears, all resentment, despair, pain, shame, sadness, anger, anxiety. Look at each fleeting spark of hope that appeared in them and was immediately extinguished by tears and finally, at least once, open your eyes and consider in my eyes all the love for you that has washed over me like a wave and dragged me to the bottom, to its prison, not wanting to let me go.