Dear Someone,
I hope you don't think I'm weird. Or weirder than you already know I am. Let's be honest, we've seen some pretty weird shit together, and apart. We've also talked about some really weird shit together too.
Remember talking about Jennifer Lawrence? Or that new book that we really wanted that turned out to be crap? Or, God help us, the Hat fic?
I know I do. I remember when we promised each other we'd be best friends for life, but look how that turned out. We had two years where we barely said a word to each other. Those were two of the worst years of my life.
I am so glad that we are friends now. At least, I hope we still are. I did something that I'm not proud of and I regret it so much. I'm sorry that I'm such a horrible friend.
I'm sorry that we have such a fucked up relationship. I'm also sorry that I hid something about myself from you because I was worried you would be disgusted or hate me.
Honestly, you terrify me so much. You seem to have life so put together even though it is a giant wreck. I know because I'm a part of it. It scares me how okay you are with everything in your life.
I know you think my life is amazing, but it sure as hell isn't. I don't think there's a day I haven't been worried about what my parents would think and do if they knew.
If they knew how messed up I am. If they knew that I'm afraid to even be myself. If they knew that I can't tell them anything that I think because I'm afraid they would hate me.
I don't know what I would do if I lost you. Honestly, I would probably kidnap you and keep you in the attic.
Please don't hate me forever. I already hate myself enough as it is. I know that I can't function without you, so please come back to me.
I worry about you a lot. I worry that one day you will end it all because of something me, or your parents, or hell even my parents say. Please don't leave me alone. I like being alone sometimes, but I hate being lonely.
I love you,
Hex
