SAO Abridged Parody

SAO Abridged Episode 1

*Kirito Puts on Helmet*

*Kirito Plugs in the wire connecting to the helmet*

*Closes game disk*

*Green lights indicating some weird stuff.*

*12:59 Battery charging*

*Kirito's Face*

*Kirito closes his eyes*

"LINK START!"

*Epic neon beams coming out of nowhere, 10/10 matrix style.*

Kirito: Sigh

*Opens his eye*

Kirito: Sword Art Online, it's been a while since the Beta. I wonder if they changed anything?

*Advertisements pop up* 

*IPhone 15*

*Mountain Dew "This is how we DEW"*

*Some Chinese Toyota Corolla Advertisement.*

*McDonalds "You have about 10,000 tastebuds use them all* (No shet McDonalds, totally didn't KNOW ABOUT MY 10,000 TASTEBUDS THAT I USE EVERY SINGLE DAY...

K: Aw, come on! Really? That's just disgusting.

K: Activate Ad-Blocker.

SAO Store: "Purchase Ad-Blocker for $29.99? Options: [Confirm]  [Cancel]

Kirito: *Chuckle*

Kirito: *Sigh* "I'm going to burn this F****** to the ground"

*Some lit as intro out of no where with music.* (DAYM)

*Klein gets head butted by a boar in the stomach.*

*Nov 6, 2022 Floor 1: Town go Beginning, West Field*

Kirito: "Wow, congrats. You were defeated by a pig."

Klein: "F*** you man, that's like a pig from the doom dimension."

Kirito: Really?

*Kirito activates his hacks, and one shots the "Pig" (IT"S A BOAR DUMBASS..)*

*Result: 24 Experience, 30 Col, 2 Items.*

Kirito: "My gosh. I've stumbled across the most powerful weapon in the game!"

Klein: "Stop"

*Shows the disappointment in Klein's face.*

Kirito: The Mithril Pebble of Pig-Smiting.

Klein: Please *Voice crack* Stop..

*Kirito takes a deep breath*

Klein: Don't..

*Kirito starts a LIT Story about his hacked pebble.*

Kirito : For you see long ago, this pebble was forged in the fiery pits of Tartarus by the grand blacksmith of lucifer himself. In a time before the world began....

*Cuts right back when the story is about to end because they noticed that no one will really want to learn to a 5 hour story about his hacked pebble.*

Kirito: And thus, Mardosa guardian of the pebble fell to his knees and passed from this world leaving behind them mighty weapon. For he knew, that one day, it's power would be required once more.

Klein: Are you done?

Kirito: Yes.

*Kirito Looks Away* 

Kirito: But the legacy of The Pebble lives on.

Klein: I have a feeling you get beat up a lot in real life.

Kirito: Shut up! I have power!

Klein: Right..