Skinny Love ~ Niall Horan FanFiction

Chapter 17: Sleepless Nights

I could feel myself being lifted up in someones arms, but I wasn't quite sure on whom it was although my guess was Niall. Instead of going home for the night we just stayed at a hotel, it was much more quieter for the newlyweds as I might say. Every now and then we usually switch on who sleeps where sort of a thing. This time I'll be sleeping in the same room as Harry while the other boys are who knows where. I just hear someone moving the covers, placing me on the bed and covering me up. No one said a word, they just left. Leaving it quiet and peaceful to sleep.

I had an axe, but it wouldn't do much damage. He kept inching his way towards me. I was trapped in such a small space. No where to run. No where to hide. I couldn't escape him, no matter how many times I hit him with that axe he always came back. His body parts would fall  off from where the axe had came into contact but always grew back not long after. He would speak but no words had flown through my ears. I could hear him say my moms name, but it was faint. How could I be so sure he actually said her name? He was so close to me. Face to face, he leaned in and blood fell into my mouth. I could feel it on my face, and even taste it. He grabbed me and pulled me close about to sink his teeth into me.

I threw the covers off of myself. Panting and barely breathing I had to leave the room before I woke Harry up. I went into the kitchen trying to be as quiet as I can, I felt sick to my stomach. Still tasting the blood in my mouth, no matter what I drank I couldn't get the taste out. I couldn't drink anything normal, I needed alcohol in my system. As awful as it sounds it helps put me at ease from time to time. I poured myself a glass of whiskey, and downed it. After all these years it still burned my throat but I loved and hated the feeling of it. I poured myself another glass after that, and another. I went through about three glasses before I lost myself. I couldn't help but cry a little. I was still hurt from earlier, I wonder why she left. She could barely even look me in the eyes. I went to go get up but I dropped the empty glass. The sound of it breaking snapped me out of it. I thought I would regret what I did but then I remembered Harry is a heavy sleeper. With my surprise there weren't any tiny slivers from it. I never thought I'd picture myself, 18 picking up glass at 3'oclock in the morning being a hot mess. I slowly dragged myself over to the couch, I wasn't quite drunk but I was about to get to that point. From what I learned drinking water helps you feel the buzz quicker.

"Maybe she knows the reason why Mom left." I whispered to myself, I took another swig and started to break down even more. I know I'm probably going to turn out like some alcoholic drunk like my dad was when Mom first left us. I felt an arm wrap around me, I usually would have panicked but at this point I didn't care. Not to mention the smell of the cologne made them all stand out more. It was Harry.

"Shh love it's okay." He said as he tried to comfort me. You can hear the tiredness in his voice, I couldn't help but apologize over and over again. He would ask me what was wrong and I couldn't help but reply with "I'm sorry." I took another swig of the whiskey and then Harry took it away from me, placing it on the coffee table and held me close to him. I just cried and cried until we both fell asleep. 

I woke up to the sound of hushing and gently walking, I looked up to see the rest of the boys. They seemed sympathetic and asked why makeup had ran been running down my face. I leaned up from off of Harry and the couch quickly rushing into the bathroom. I felt sick and I didn't want anyone to see me how I was. I'm starting to think that drinking wasn't the best thing to do last night. I cleaned up my face and went back into the room laying down.

I just laid there, I heard a knock on the door but I made no effort in even acknowledging them. Who ever it was rested their hand on me, and sat on the bed.

"You didn't do anything bad last night did you?" Zayn had ask. Of course they would ask a question like that. Thinking it's strange for them to walk in on me sleeping on Harry. I sat up and looked at him.

"Well I wouldn't say me drinking is a bad thing." I looked at him with a blank facial expression. I hope I didn't sound to harsh to him, but I don't want a repeat of things in the past. My mind couldn't help but rush to the thought of what Niall must be thinking. After everything we've done, and then he sees me laying on his best mate.

"Can you please leave me alone?" Again I only had a blank expression towards him. He took a deep breath of air and nodded leaving me to be. I feel back into the bed and threw the covers over myself. I could hear them talking among themselves. I didn't want to leave my room, I got up and closed the blinds. I walked over to the door that lead to the sitting room, I walked into there and everyone had all eyes on me. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and went into the bathroom locking the door shut. I ran the tub and played music over the boys so I couldn't hear them if they even bothered to try to talk to me. I kept taking another swig of and jumped into the bath. 

I didn't want to be bothered after that. I drained the tub and laid back on my bed. I didn't want to be bothered by them. I know it's probably not the best thing to do, but honestly it's what I know what to do. I decided to go on twitter for a little bit since I haven't been on there in a while. I logged into it, and honestly I wish I hadn't.

@homeistrashcan your too fat to be near the boys, youd probably crush them.

@homeistrashcan @randomgurl101 I agree. Maybe if yu slit yur wrist deep enough the boys wouldnt have a drag around them.

That's just only two comments, most of them were how I don't deserve to be with them and how I'm fat and worthless. Same bullshit as always. I didn't want to deal with it, I logged off and went to bed hoping I don't wake up.

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Hey guys so I know I haven't updated in a while, after I post this I'm going to work on a new chapter get that going for ya. Just a heads up, I let one of the readers know of this so I'd thought I'd share it too. There will be trigger warning, I'm not sure when but there will be. I will write it at the top of the story before you read it so you all know of it. If it is going to effect you please do not read it and skip the the chapter after that. And if you guys are going through problems like that please know I am here for you and will be there for you. You all are beautiful and don't ever forget that!! Love you all lots, have a sunny bunny day! XoXo