Tonight I cut my wrist ya I know that's dangerous don't do it we can help you stop I've heard It a hundred times before but you can't stop it my bff can't and I know I tear her apart when I do it and I know it will hurt the ones around me I've heard it all but the thing I haven't heard yet it I love you and I'll be here no matter what you do I won't judge I'll help you when you brake down I'm not going anywhere but no one really says that because they care but don't know if they should help or not and yes all my friends know I'm depressed they ask me if I'm ok and they know I'm not and I wanna say no but I always say I'm fine but I'm not I feel like I'm nothing that I have bricks tied to my body and I have dreams where we are all happy sitting there but I look at the water and I start walking towards it and with ever step I take a brick is added to me and after a while I'm in the water and the bricks get so heavy I start drowning I try to get the rope off me but it won't budge I scream for help but no one comes and I stop fighting and lay there sinking in the water but I notice I'm not choking on the water I can breathe but I look around and all I see is black and pictures of my family and friends pop into my head I start crying and I see my life starting from the beginning and how my life would of gone if I didn't go into the water but I think if I want that or not a life of suffering and crying or it all to be over so fast but then I see my family's life everyone crying my mom said sad my sisters crying and my brother sees me starts crying walking away and I understand why he doesn't want to be here he wants to destroy stuff because he just lost another person he loves and I see my baby brother not knowing what's going on but when he gets older I can see my mom telling him about me and how I loved him more then anything and he had a bond that can't be broken even in death and I see him cry and my mom shows pictures of me holding him she starts crying and my sister hugs them being sting just like I Raghu her to be I see my dad and the pain in his eyes of losing his only child the only kid he could ever have he brakes down and I can see my dad going crazy because he always said I was his only reason for living i can see my best friend crying she'll go and grab my body telling bf me to get up that she doesn't k ow what to do without me because I promised we would go to college together promised I wouldn't leave her she's yelling at me saying I broke our promise her bf grabs her I know there still together from Junior high and that's the reason because I know she has him and he won't leave her but then I see him no we're not together anymore I wish we were but you don't love me the way I loved you but you still came because you do love me I am when your best friends and you care about me a lot and I care about you more than anything and you see me a stop and you stare don't know what to do you wish I was there to tell you what to do because that's what I always do always there to tell you how to go on but this time you need to figure it out on your own I can't be there this time and I know you will be happy someday you'll have a beautiful wife and children and I know that my best friend my kids and I know she'll be happy I help my dad would be happy with where he's with he'll get over it I hope I hope my mom understand not blame her self or anyone I want anyone to blame themselves this is me I chose to do this I am scared and I know that arouses are you here they're scared or nervous that they all have problems I don't know why am sad and I don't know why I want to kill myself and hurt myself I feel like I was born with it because I've been sad a long time and confusing to me
