BROKEN

BROKEN PART 6

EPISODE 6

“We haven’t done the procedure yet” the doctor said “Why? I remembered you put me to sleep”
“You reacted to the anesthesia we gave you. We were able to resuscitate you after three good hours” I now remembered everything I saw when I was asleep, it was all like a dream. I saw myself waving at my Parents, siblings and I was begging my boyfriend to go and tell my parents what happened to me. Meaning I almost die indeed. I silently thank God for sparing my life. At the end of the day, the abortion has to be done without any anesthesia. It was so painful, I screamed, I cried. My boyfriend was there all through, he held my hand n tried to calm me down. To be candid I gave everyone in the O R a tough time. Some minutes later, the doctor was through. He left while the Nurses handle the rest. One of the Nurses was so nice to me, while the other one gave me a scornful look, I get the message she was passing across. I know in her mind she would have given me many names like slut, love peddler, fornicator and murderer I guess. She’s free to judge me, she can call be anything but I’m very sure she’s not better than me. The kind Nurse advice me to be very careful next time. She told me guys are not really worth all this pains they put us through, she said they are like birds and they can fly away anytime. She also said if my boyfriend insist on not using protection then I should zip up. She gave me all the advice she would give her own younger sister, she even gave me her number to call if anything comes up although she prayed there won’t be complications. I thanked her wholeheartedly. I was made to relax for some time before leaving. I was giving antibiotics and some analgesics. I joined Tunde at the reception and we left the hospital. We got back to my boyfriend’s place, he prepared food and hot beverage, I couldn’t eat but I took the hot beverage. My cousin called and I told her I was back from the hospital. She wanted to come over but I told her it’s not necessary that I’ll be fine. An hour later, the show began. I started bleeding. The bleeding was so much that I used 2 packs of sanitary pad in less than two hours. We were both scared to death. I remembered the kind nurse gave me her phone number. I called her and she told me it’s normal for now, she told me the kind of pad to use n not the regular ones and she also told to get some drugs. I called the names out while Tunde jotted it down. She told me to keep her posted. Tunde rush down to a nearby stores and bought lots of sanitary pads and the drugs. I couldn’t eat and I’m getting weak, He forced me to take the energy drinks he bought for me. I took it and vomitted on the floor. I saw all the stressed Tunde went through and I had no choice than to pity him. He washed all my soiled clothes, stained bed spreads, he washed the toilets and made sure the room was cleaned. “Well done” I said to him when he was through with the washing. He replied with all sincerity “Thank you. And I’m sorry for putting you through all this” I nodded. I was indoor for a whole week bleeding the first three days was terrible, I thought would not make it. The good thing is that our faculty had a one week exhibition and they declared the week lecture free. So I didn’t get to miss lectures that week. After 10 days the flow stopped. I saw hell, it was an awful experience. My boyfriend stood by me all through and the hatred I had for him vanished slowly. I shouldn’t punish him for our mistake. After the flow stopped and I was strong enough. I packed my things and left Tunde’s place, no more cohabitation. He did not even bother to convince me to stay. He knew my mind was made up.I got back to my place, he actually followed me and help me clean up my room. He makes sure I was OK before he left. That night, I wanted to pray but I couldn’t, I felt God will slap me if I dare to call him. I couldn’t even open my mouth to ask God for forgiveness. Something kept disturbing my peace. My conscience was telling me “You know if you die now or rapture happens, you know you are going straight to hell” After some days I found the courage to pray, I prayed for forgiveness but I couldn’t forgive myself. I killed an harmless child, that baby suppose to be my first child, but I denied it the right to live. I live with the guilt everyday. I refuse to go to church, thinking God will strike me down if I dare to enter his house. I gave them some excuses in church. I was in my room alone one Sunday morning, since I’m still scared of going to church I only listened to messages on radio. The message talk about forgiveness. I cried after I had the message. From that message I realized that God had already forgiven me all I need to do is to forgive myself. The message really helped me moved on with my life. I started attending church afterwards and I felt normal again.
#We cannot embrace God’s forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds# – T.D Jakes

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The following week, Joy came from her own school to check on me. I already told her on phone that I’m fine, but she still insisted in seeing me with my own eyes. She was happy to see I've  move back into my room. She’s never liked the idea of cohabitating. I resumed lectures, all my classmate accused us for not coming for the exhibition. We lied that we traveled. Everything was back to normal again. For months I was on my own, I mean I never allowed Tunde touch me. I told him to give me time because I realized I feared sex more than anything else and he respected my opinion. He said he’ll wait till i come around*****
A year later, we are actually in our final year. We heard a shocking news. The news is on tv, radio, every where. A particular hospital was raided by the police, report got to them that the owner of the hospital is fetish. He uses pregnant women for rituals. Especially those that came for abortion, He uses both the fetus and mother for rituals. Many girls has been reported to die on his operating table. The news has already spread across the whole city. Tunde and I were shocked, this is the same hospital I almost entered to have an abortion. “No wonder you said your spirit did not agree with that hospital” Tunde said, still in shock. "I would have been a victim too” I said. I did not know where the tears came from, I cried. So God answered my prayer that day, I know He did not do it for me but He did it for my mother. The prayer I prayed for my mother who has served Him diligently with her whole heart was answered. “This is nothing but pure grace, indeed our grace differs” I said to myself. That very minute I made a promise that I will serve him all the rest of my life. Everything went well between us, My love for him waxed stronger.We both graduated with a first class. Tunde was the second best overall student. Months later, Went for service. We served in different states but things was going on smoothly between us. Yes, we have everything all planned out, we are getting married once we are through with service and start working.
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Is Tunde really the guy for Pamilerin?
Did he even love her as much as he claims?
We’ll find out soon.
Keep your fingers crossed.