Fingers Crossed

New Day .

How could i forget to explain where things went wrong . After all that's what this is about right ? Well , here we go . It was a day like no other in downtown Atlanta . Traffic was minimal . Sandy's aggravating dogs were barking up a storm , mama was asleep in her room , and Alice and I were out front playing with the twins . When we heard a gunshot , the twins mom called them inside but me and Alice continued on our game . A few hours later it was dark so mama wouldn't let us out , and for whatever reason mama looked sad and kept rubbing her eyes but me and Alice kept on playing . It was about bedtime and i went to mama's room as usual to say goodnight . She has her head in her lap and her phone to her ear . So i ask what's wrong and mama puts her phone on the bed and pulls me close . We make direct eye contact and she says to me "daddy was shot earlier today . he was at the corner store and there was a shootout .. and .. and they got him" with tears streaming down her face in an attempt to console her i hugged mama . that was the last time in 3 years i've hugged my mom . After my dad died , she started doing drugs and has been fucked up ever since . But after i got the news i walked down my staircase . into my room .

And looked in the mirror . At my pale face . At my glasses . at my straight eyelashes and wavy hair . At my perfect smile and green eyes . But more so , i looked at who i was at the moment . I was myself , i was okay . I was happy to be Brooklyn and to look at my reflection , and i was happy to once have had a loving ,beautiful family . But everything was about to change . The first months were hard , things around the house were tense as daddy always made the jokes and just made everything okay and fine . But me and mama started drifting , and before you knew it we didn't talk anymore . and it was less like mother and daughter and more like aggravating older sister and younger sister . I'd cry nights in a row , wishing for my dad to just come back , because ever since he died it's just been horrible . I'd hate to say this but i don't have a family , well i did , and now it's broken , ripped in half , tore apart . everything . gone . forever .