Kips journal

Today I had to deal with my step dad. He's been giving me a hectic time with his you are lazy useless comments. But I try to do better but it seems to not be enough most of the time. Its 1:52am and I can't sleep. He's sitting in the living room on the computer. He just verbally abuses me. But I'm learning to ignore it. Or get used to it. Last month I told him and my mom a dark secret. It honestly wasn't my fault. Yet he didn't care. Said I wanted attention or it was a excuse. I should get over it bla bla bla. Yes one can clearly get over being raped. Its a cut that will just vanish right?😟. Its why I cannot sleep it's why I'm depressed. Its why I was planning on suicide but thought what the heck I'll try living even in he'll. I'm going to try and get help and my life together. Sorry about this ranting. And a darkish first page to this random journal. Try to bare with me I'm not all dark and gloom. I love my rabbits Jeri and old man. They are my reasons to get up everyday and try. I attempt dating sites but fail because I'm scared the next man Will hurt me. But maybe one day lol. I'll go for now please don't leave any hate. Especially homophobia transphobia I'm gay and transgender ftm female to male. And in the closet for now. I'll break out one day. But for now y'all know gotta go till next time love y'all.