A Rose For A Soul (Story/Poem)

Days grew shorter; skies dimmer, darker, perhaps even daunting. Rosy clouds suggested guaranteed happiness, at least just in this moment. But that was it… I always knew it was never meant to last. Just temporary bliss until arguments and jealousy tore our insignificant love apart for good. Maybe some things are better left as they are, and fate is our saviour – our knight in shining armour – protecting us, guiding us to our inevitable end. Even if you have good intentions, is it really worth giving your time, your precious and fragile life, to someone who only saves themselves? To someone who can’t seem to bare their own sadness any longer? To someone who likes to bathe in their misery... 

Some may say I’m delusional, living in a fantasy world where I expect there to be goodness in every human being, and where people live to find their fairytale ending. Maybe they’re partly right, but is it really so delusional to want the best for the people you care about? I think not! However, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to place the idea in your head that you can ‘fix’ people… Y’see, you may believe that you yourself can turn somebody’s life around, making them feel secure and uplifted again. Though, that’s impossible. You can support them and encourage them, by all means, but it’s up to them to try to help themselves too. I’m afraid I didn’t understand that myself for all this time, always believing if only I tried hard enough I could miraculously make everything better. I’m afraid I was wrong.

While Valentine’s day arrived, so did she, holding a beautiful rose in her hand. I wasn’t expecting this, but only hoping, dreaming! In my favour, surprisingly it was for me. Well, not so much a surprise; the signs were always there, just neither of us acted upon them. Of course, things were all sweet for a little while as expected, and on the worst days I’d hold her tight in my arms for a moment longer. Though, everything was new, and I didn’t understand quite how things were supposed to be.

I’d lock all the painful words in my head while my gentle heart continued to care, ignoring the fact that that wasn’t fair.

I kept waking up through the night; I kept worrying whether she was alright. Little by little my world was caving in until it eventually shattered into pieces of memories I could never replay. I knew it was the end. It’s possible that inevitably it was over before it had begun. A heartbreaking fairytale, one of which I imagine goes along the lines of, ‘’Just because we can’t be together, doesn’t mean I don’t love you.’’

Months go by, and yet I still find myself wishing she was still by my side. Yet, I know it probably isn’t her I miss, but instead the intimacy that brings this closeness between two people. By now of course, the rose she had given me had withered away long ago, though I failed to throw it away. I am left with this emptiness which seems like nobody else could fill; I’d never felt so hollow before. Misery or nothingness, which would you prefer? But I warn you, sometimes it’s better to feel hurt than to feel nothing at all; feeling nothing begins to bring you to question whether or not you’re even alive.

I fell for a rose, I’m a fool I suppose.

Something within me changed, for better or for worse I am unsure of. But why regret when you can learn, laugh, love, live? Don’t dwell on the darkness, else you’ll be blinded of all the goodness our universe has to offer.

Thee who faces the fear of falling,

Shall feel greater satisfaction than those who failed to make the jump.

Days grew longer; skies seemed bigger, brighter, blissful. Rosy clouds suggested summer memories were in the making, although I don’t mind if it were to rain. Perhaps a little rainfall would ease the burns, nevertheless we have plenty of time to learn how to dance in the storm.

I’d lock all the painful words in my head

While my gentle heart continued to care,

Ignoring the fact that that wasn’t fair.

I fell for a rose, I’m a fool I suppose.

Though, thee who faces the fear of falling,

Shall feel greater satisfaction than those who failed to make the jump.

Consider it a blessing to feel anything at all,

For better or for worse,

We’re human,

It’s natural.

You gain a wider perspective,

From above and deep below,

Understand the soppy but wonderful

Songs on the radio.

Give up the battle,

Love was never intended to be war.

A burning passion unattended to

Makes you lust for more.

Don’t drown your flame out with all your tears,

Things will change,

Rearrange,

You shall find someone new.

Do what feels good,

Share your love,

For as long as you shall live.

But do not trade your soul for a rose,

Because day by day

You too may begin to wither away.