I had to wake up early, YAY (sarcasm) to take a shower. My lame ass older brother missed the bus, cuz he had to wash his hair, like wtf? 😂 My bus driver also thought it was weird. My bus driver is really cool and I'm his favorite, out of all people. (It's a joke because on the first day he started driving I told him not to worry and that there is a good kid, me, on the bus. Then I told him I'm his favorite.) I got to school and tbh, the first half was stupid and awkward, since me and one of my friends got into a fight, and she didn't want to be friends.
But in math class I was almost happy. I love doing math, but I'm a perfectionist and, I have to be better than everyone else in my class, and I was (no offense to my fellow classmates) until we got a new boy, and he's better at it than I am, and he's totally cocky about it. Sometimes it seems like math is the only thing I'm good at. And most of the time I already know what we're talking about in class, and it pisses me off, because honestly I think I should be in a higher level math class (not to sound cocky) because it's just not challenging to me, and I, unlike most other people, want to learn new things. In gym I ran the pacer, which I absolutely suck at! But I did better than I usually do. I absolutely hate english, because I literally don't understand anything about what we're doing rn, and no one in my class will shut up so I can learn. And I also can't focus and when I read I have to read the same thing multiple times before I actually get what it says, because everyone in my class is so damn distracting. Even worst I even ask them to be quiet, sometimes politely, sometimes not, but they never listen, because there is literally nothing I can do about it, if they don't shut up. Science is also really stressful, because our science fair projects were due today, but mine isn't done, and I can't work on it no, because I need the teachers help. I'm honestly such a fuck up sometimes.
Halfway through the day, around lunch time, my friend, the one I fought with yesterday and I started talking again, and becoming friendly again. Honestly, it confused the hell out of me, because she was beyond pissed (and had every right because I was being bitchy) but I went with it, because it had been less than 12 hours and I had already missed her. And more towards the end of the day we talked about it. I'm pretty sure we're all good now? But she might still be a bit upset, and same with me
2.) QOTD (more like poem today):
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3.) Facts about me (Kind of deep):
1.) I have thought about self-harming before.
2.) More often than not I cry myself to sleep.
3.) I may have severe anxiety, and I'm afraid to tell my parents because, I'm supposed to be the perfect child, who barely gets into trouble, and gets good grades, not the one with anxiety.
4.) Sometimes I think about what would happen if I died. Like how would people react and what would happen with everything I own, would my parents keep it the same, or give it away to people.
