You know, when your dad calls your little brother a prick, it's shit.
My little brother went and sat on the couch after my dad called him a prick, but the look on his face is what got me. It was the same look on my older brother Josh's face. I didn't know what the expression meant exactly, but all I know was that it was nothing good.
After awhile, Aaron goes to his room and he just loses it. He's crying and screaming. It looked like a breakdown to me.
Mom goes in, checks on him. She comes back out and I say, "You know screaming and calling your kid names isn't going to help at all because It didn't help me."
My mom replies back snotty like, "Well, he gets it from the best. Sees all the shit you do."
At this point I was pissed. How could she be blaming me for the way Aaron has been acting? I ask, "So, you're saying this is my fault? The way he is becoming?"
Without thinking about it she says,"Yep, part of it is. You're his role model. He sees all the shit you do and probably thinks it's okay." I said nothing back. I couldn't say anything back. I was too angry and sad on why she said that.
I struggle with depression, I myself am a past cutter and my little brother knows that, but he never seen me do it. I would be in my room, in my closet most of the time. Sometimes I would go in the basement. My parents are toxic people and I don't know how to deal with emotions anymore. My father called me an attention whore and recently called me a fuck up like my older brother.
I think it's funny how my parents blame everyone else for the cause of a problem, but, I on the other hand, blame myself for every single thing. I think it's funny how my parents are blaming me on why Aaron is becoming like me.
I don't think they realize how words can really hurt someone, especially their own children.
