I have loved, as well as lost. Sometimes, things don't work out, and that's okay.
Reasons being? I have an issue with honesty, and you.. well, you can just be mean.
That issue? That is an effect of my parents. I have been in situations where I was scolded, and hurt at a young enough age to figure out what to say to protect myself. It was seldom the truth. I was clever. I was lying. I was protecting myself.
Even when it wasn't necessary, my mind wandered in and out of possible reasons why it would cause me pain. So I lied then, out of fear. Anything could happen, and I wanted safety. Overall, I lied to them often, and about a lot. It was my protection. You can't tell an alcoholic something they don't want to hear. Plus, being young, you develop along the way. I grew in inches, but developed lying.
As far as now? I still do. To my parents so they don't yell. To my.. him, because I get scared. To myself, because I couldn't grasp the fact that there is something wrong with me.
Ever hear of BPD? Not bipolar disorder. It stands for borderline personality disorder. Although it might as well be.. Anyhow, It can be due to genetics, or in my case, a result of environmental factors. Two, to be exact.
My mother, and my father. They yelled, neglected, hurt, and still tend to fail me as parents. They are ridiculous in their strategic ways, and reasons behind their actions. Top that with a twelve pack? You get problems.
My problem is BPD, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies.
YOU ARE READING
I'm wilting with the roses.
PoetryI've made stories before. some parts poetic, but one hundred percent depressing. This is where, and when I can really.. exhale. With descriptive words that stretch to paragraphs of things I myself lack the vocabulary to fully describe. So.. the stor...
