Not Worthy Of Him

Chocolate

I went to my closet looking for something to ware. It's finally Sunday, I successfully made it through the whole week. Nothing really happened.

Choir was amazing. Every day in my last class I got to see Andrew. The beautiful man with the amazing chocolate brown eyes.

I saw those eyes in my dreams last night. I herd the God-like music that flowed through his hands.

He was playing the piano everyday when I came in for choir. Every time, right as I walked through the door, he would somehow know and would look up into my eyes. We would stare for several seconds.

I was always the one to break it first. It made me so mad that I couldn't hold his eyes for more then a couple seconds.

That's all I wanted.

I wanted to hold his eyes with mine until he saw who I am.

All of me.

Well... I also didnt want him to. I was constantly at war in my mind.

Coming back to reality, I decided that I didn't want to ware anything that I had. So, with the limitless credit card my mother gave me to show her "undying love", I went shopping. I could spend all I wanted and she wouldn't care.

One time, when I was 16, I spent as much money as I could just trying to get her attention. It didn't even faze her, she was reaction-less.

I went out, got some new clothes, ice cream and a Little Caesars. I love Little Caesars. It's amazing.

I got home about 10:30pm so I sat out my new clothes for Monday, and went to bed.

********

Unless I have an attack in choir today, it will be a week since I've had one.

I am feeling pretty good about myself. Maybe collage won't suck as bad this year. That would be nice.

I looked at my phone and saw that choir will start in five minutes.

If I show up early I can have more time to listen to Andrew.

I walked in and just like all of last week, Andrew looked up.

We stared.

But yet again, I broke it. Why could I not hold his eyes?! I don't understand. I want to hold his eyes but something is stopping me.

Choir passed like it always did.
One hundred percent awkward.

After choir, I leaned down to put my music away. I felt someone behind me.

I snapped up, turning towards whoever it was. I was about half way around when my nose collided with something extremely hard.

It was Andrew.

I hit his freaking elbow.

My hands went to my face, knowing it would be bloody.

"Shit! I'm so sorry Alexandra! I didn't know you would do that!" he said in a panic.

"What did you think was going to happen?!" I snapped.

"I dont know! Something different!"

"Well, 'something' didnt happen! Now... could you just leave?" I said in a irritated voice.