Darkness' Delusions

Chapter four

CHAPTER FOUR

"Enza, Enza...Enza?" I hear the voice off in the distance softly say. 

Well, actually, it's not a voice off in the distance. It belongs to Gabe, who's sitting right across from me. I, apparently, was very lost in my thoughts. A common thing for me. I turn myself towards him. "Hmm? What is it?"

"Nothing—just...is something wrong?" he carefully asks. 

"No...well, I'm okay." I don't want to tell him what's bothering me. Even though he already knows about the situation between me and Mr. Stenburg. It took awhile, but one day I finally decided it'd be okay to tell him. It was about two years ago and I had walked out on a teen activity because I just couldn't take it anymore—Jordan's negligent attitude towards me—and had gone to a secluded and vacant room to do what I hated doing the most. Crying. And I guess I wasn't very quiet either because I soon heard the sound of creaking from the room's door. Careful to cover most of my tears with my hands, I slightly looked up and saw him standing in the doorway. 

"I was on my way to get a drink of water and I heard crying coming from this room." Gabe said to me. "So, I decided to see what it was."

"Oh." Was all I responded. 

"Are you okay?" he asked sympathetically. "Is there anything I can do?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know..." There was a long pause. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He really did want to help me. 

I thought about it before I answered. Recently, me and Gabe had been talking more to each other. We've known each other since the second grade but we’ve never really been friends. If anything we were closer to foes than friends. Gabe had always made it his job along with others to tease and annoy me, and without a problem I'd do the same to him. But then one day unexpectedly in seventh grade, we just became friends. At that moment, we were pretty much best friends...but still, I just didn't know if I could tell him. That issue was something very private to me. But then after taking another moment to outweigh the bad outcome against the good, I'd figured it'd be okay. "Well..." I paused for sometime and then very slowly with some tears in between; I began to tell him everything. He admitted that he didn't understand it all but although, could clearly see my point. Why I was so hurt. And then he said something that I've never been able to fully understand. 

"Maybe God just wants you to depend solely on Him for your happiness...maybe that's why He allowed that to happen...but I don't know." That was what he said to me. I could have asked him then what he meant but I didn't want to. Perhaps I was afraid of what the answer would be. But it was fairly expected for him to say something like that, Gabe was a lot spiritual then...but lately things have been different. He doesn't seem to want to talk about God so much. He does talk about Him but it's not like the way he used to. Now it almost seems empty and distance. But I think I'm the only one who can tell. He's so good at hiding it...although he may not even be trying to hide it. I don't know which. At first glance though, he still would seem very spiritual but unless you've been close friends as I have been to him, would you really be able to tell. I've thought about bringing it to his attention on several occasions but I've never been able to bring myself to do it. But whatever he did mean by what he said, he made one thing clear. That he believed me. He believed everything I told him. And that meant a lot to me because no one else, whether I chose to tell them or they just found out, fully believed my side of the story about what happened between me and the Stenburgs. From that day on, our best friend relationship was official. If I could tell Gabe that and trust him then I could pretty much tell him anything.