sorry || m.t + j.w

Secrets & Wishes

Mark was a man of few words.

He preferred to keep to himself and observe conversations rather than take an active part when others conversed around him. This aspect of the 23 year old's personality was discovered fairly quickly by the other members of GOT7 after Jackson greeted the American upon their first meeting. The widening of Mark's eyes and the tenseness his body took at the stream of questions that flowed from Jackson's mouth, much like the waters of the Jeongbang waterfalls, had been enough to reveal to the rest of the group that the elder was an extreme introvert.

Jackson on the other hand, as demonstrated by his interrogation of Mark, was the complete opposite. He loved to talk and interact with people, find out what made them who they are and who they aspire to be in the future. In his mind, everyone's life started as a blank canvas that became splashed with the different colours of experience as people lived their lives. Each painting as unique and beautiful as the artist who painted it. He was truly the definition of an extrovert. A ball of bubbling energy that had happiness oozing from every pore.

There was no doubt that the two were polar opposites, different sides of the same coin; but that's what made them work.

Mark and Jackson become friends fairly quickly, Mark opening up to Jackson little by little every day as the joy Jackson seemed to bring with him everywhere infected him. Everyone knew that without Jackson, Mark probably wouldn't be the idol he is today and Mark wouldn't argue with them.

Jackson brought him out of the shell he hid himself in his entire life. Before Jackson, Mark saw no need to make friends, he was perfectly comfortable living his life in almost complete solitude. Of course he had friends back in America but he wasn't close to any of them. If anything they were just people he happened to hang around. None of them knew the real him, not like Jackson did. None of them knew the secrets he told Jackson in their late night conversations. None of them even came close to being as important of a factor as Jackson is in Mark's life.

Which is why Mark couldn't tell him.

Mark couldn't let Jackson know the deepest secret that he kept buried in his heart. He couldn't potentially ruin what he and the shorter male had; what they built up over the years.

Mark couldn't allow himself to be stripped so bare like that. He couldn't allow Jackson to see who he truly is out of the fear he would be rejected. That Jackson wouldn't treat him the same way. That despite how close they had gotten over the years since they debuted Jackson would avoid him, throw away their friendship out of disgust.

The fear of him finding out clouded Mark's mind like a poisonous fog, creeping into every inch and every corner of his brain. A fog that caused him to shut down completely whenever he felt Jackson was getting to close. Too close to finding out his true feelings.

Mark was gay.

Something that he discovered in high school after his 'friends' teased him for not having a girlfriend. At that time he didn't fully understand why the thought of dating a female didn't intrigue him in the slightest. It wasn't that he didn't find girls pretty, at least he thought that wasn't it. Until one shower, after gym class had finished and the school day was drawing to a close, he caught a glance at his 'friend' Andrew, who was also currently showering.

Now Andrew wasn't the most attractive male, he was average at best, but seeing him naked sent Marks testosterone filled body into overdrive; his cock slowly hardening as his gaze remained on Andrew, mainly the water dripping downwards. The sight of toned masculine muscle under the running water of the shower head made come to the shocking realisation. Luckily Mark managed to snap himself out of his trance, spinning round to face the shower wall before Andrew or any of the other males in his class could catch him, changing the temperature setting to the coldest that it would go in hopes to rid himself of his half-hard dick as well as the shame and disgust he felt for getting it. He shouldn't be feeling like this, he shouldn't be attracted to his friends in this way. He felt like a pervert, staring at his friend so hungrily in the shower like a wolf about to pounce on an unsuspecting lamb. After this Mark avoided Andrew like the plague, refusing to make eye contact or even acknowledge when Andrew was in his presence, subconsciously thinking that if he interacted with Andrew in the slightest he would find out how Marks body reacted to seeing him naked and would then proceed to make Mark's life a living hell. Mark knew how his friends hated gays, or 'faggots' as they would call them. He knew that if any of them found out his newly discovered sexuality they wouldn't hesitate to blacklist him. Due to Mark's introverted nature however Andrew didn't notice any real changes in his behaviour much to Mark's relief.

Skip a few years and here we are; Mark still a heavily closeted gay who is hopelessly crushing on his best friend who he is 100% certain is completely straight.

He did everything he could to put on the front that he was straight. He would stare at the legs of female idols in what he hoped was a lustful way. He would join in on BamBam and Yugyeom's conversations on what their dream girl was like and about which body types they found most attractive. He would leave straight porn magazines lying haphazardly around his and Jackson's shared dorm room to show that he most definitely liked boobs and pussy even though they gave him the opposite of an erection. But it wasn't enough. He still knew what his true sexuality was and no amount of pretending was going to change it. The skin ship Jackson initiated almost every time he saw Mark didn't help him either, if anything it made Mark's attraction to the blonde more intense. Mark knew it was because Jackson was a very affectionate person but he couldn't help but secretly hope it was because Jackson returned his unspoken feelings...

Mark was a mess over Jackson Wang and he hated that Jackson didn't realise it.

~*~

A/N: Ahhhh here we are ><

I've honestly been planning this fic for a while now and I finally got the first chapter done! I re-drafted and re-wrote this so many times, rip. This is my first time writing fan-fiction so please leave feedback! It would be much appreciated. ^^

Markson is one of my all time favourite k-pop ships, their chemistry is unreal. They are one of the cutest couples ever, at least to me, and hey, at least they're an adorable bromance even if they ain't a romance.