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authors notes;

i was kinda inspired by Coldplay's song, fix you and a bunch of other really sad songs that i was listening to while studying

btw the '' represents the start and the end of a flashback, just so you guys dont get confused. there will be few of them throughout this book

also this book contains a lot of angst moments (and a pinch of fluff) and major character death, it also contains things related to with depression and mental health so if you're uncomfortable with that kind of content please do not proceed reading, i don't want to trigger or harm anyone

and lastly, enjoy :)

✿✿✿✿

just like every day, every morning, yoongi came in with different flowers in his hands and lay them down on the bedside table.

hoseok would be sitting on the window ledge, looking through the blinds to look at the seoul city, it's high buildings and the busy people rushing past.

the plain creamy white walls of the room had a yellow-ish tint due to morning sun illuminating the room and the yellow rays of the sun ricocheted of his skin, and twinkling up his eyes. almost filling them up with the hope he once had.

the brown oak door creaked open, hoseok turned around to see his loving boyfriend, yoongi. the corner of his lip curled up forming a faint smile, as he watched yoongi would take off his jacket and scarf, laying them down on the chair in the corner of the room.

before yoongi said anything he would spend a minute or so just to admire the younger, the sun could die but it didn't matter because yoongi knew that hoseok's inner and outer beauty had the potential to radiate light to brighten up the whole world. to yoongi, hoseok was his world, his sun, moon and stars.

every day for the past nine months, yoongi had visited hoseok at the clinic and there hadn't been one time where yoongi wouldn't feel an ache in the his heart seeing hoseok in that state.

"blue violets today" yoongi said, gently placing the flowers down on the table, as some of the petals wilted off
"the florist lady said they represent melancholy, love and devotion"

hoseok's smile grew a little bigger as he heard those words from yoongi
"thank you yoongi" he said gently

"and they brighten up the place a bit, don't you think?" yoongi said as he sat down on the ledge next to him "also i have some good news, i spoke to dr.kim, he said we're allowed to go out for a day"

before hoseok got the chance to say anything, a tall man with light purple-lilac coloured hair, with a mysterious and sexy demeanour, wearing a long white coat with the sliver badge that said 'Dr. Kim' walked in, reading the paper work on a clipboard and adjusting his thick glasses before looking up at hoseok and yoongi.

"hey hoseok, how are you feeling? i'm assuming that yoongi told you but after a very long discussion with the hospital manger today and i finally convinced her to let you go out for the day as long as you're with someone"

"finally, thank you dr. kim and i'll stay with yoongi the whole time" hoseok thanking him

"i'm trusting you hoseok and you too yoongi, i have faith you won't let him out of your sight, right? and i told you many times just call me namjoon" he said smiling at the two

"namjoon, im not a dog. i don't always have to be watched over, you know" hoseok muttered back

yoongi nodded at namjoon knowing that he had to protect hoseok like it was his life.

he scribbled some notes down on the paper on the clipboard before he clicked his pen and put in his coat pocket "alright, i'll leave you guys be, also remember to come back before seven pm that's your curfew" he said as he walked out the door

the two gave him a nod and smile, both knowing that wasn't going to happen.

hoseok walked towards his small closest to change his clothes, he took off the plain white sweater he was wearing and threw it on the bed. yoongi looking at the scar marks on his wrists and arms, some fading away, a few of them a little more recent.

he changed into a black hoodie, which he had stolen from yoongi, and ripped black jeans. pairing it with that bracelet he got a year ago when yoongi and hoseok went to the beach together.

yoongi let out a small laugh as the bracelet brought back memories. 'remember that day hoseok? you were actually smiling and laughing, you were actually happy' yoongi thought to himself as tears began to build up in his eyes, squeezing them shut to prevent them from falling.

"ready?" hoseok said breaking yoongi from his moment of nostalgia

"oh, yeah lets go" yoongi stood up and put on his jacket and wrapped his thick, woolly, red scarf around hoseok "i don't want you to be cold" yoongi said giving hoseok a warm smile

"where should we go?" you could sense the fondness in hoseok's voice, after nine months of staying indoors in a confined room and having doctors constantly check up on him just in case he did what he did nine months ago.

because if it wasn't for yoongi, hoseok wouldn't have survived
however if it wasn't for hoseok, yoongi would've died

"let's go back to those happy memories, hoseok"

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Apr 26, 2017 ⏰

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