This is my first chapter story on Wattpad and in my whole life. I know it's a little wierd, but bare with me as my inner-author improves. Thank you if you are reading this, and I'm open to ideas/comments/reviews/suggestions. <3 LG19
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Her love story was not epic, but it was beautiful nonetheless. There was no prince in shining armor offering her a wedding ring, rather, it was a silly boy in an aluminum foil costume offering her a jar of Nutella. Regardless, she was sure that this was all she ever wanted, but it ended too soon. The one thing she learned from all of this?...
“Carpe diem,” the guy in the front of the room, David, stated simply, “Those are the two words that describe me.” I looked down at my paper. My presentation was written neatly. It took me hours of thinking -wrecking- my brain to finally think of two words that “enveloped the essence of who I am”, as stated by my english teacher. Even now I still think my presentation lacks something.
I was pulled back from my thoughts as David continued to speak. “Carpe diem is latin for ‘Seize the day’,” he explained. His voice was soft, but sure, strong, but gentle. Taking a good look at him now I realized that he was also easy on the eyes. He wore his hair combed to the right flat on his head. It was a nice brown; a coffee-with-milk-colored brown. His eyes roamed the room as he presented. He made eye contact with the audience and remained unfazed as they stared back. His eyes moved from right to left and to the back rows in the room. It’s only when he turned in my direction that I realized that his eyes were the same color as his hair. That made me smile. I hadn't realized it but his eyes were still on me when I smiled. Maybe he thought that I was smiling at him because he smiled back. I felt my cheeks heat up and I quickly adverted my eyes. I pretended to play with edges of my paper until I heard him continue with his presentation
“...Seizing the day means to snatch,” David curled his hand into a fist as if snatching something inexistent from the air, “ at any presented opportunity. Simply because…”
“It might never come around again,” I whispered to myself at the same time that David said it outloud. I had researched this phrase once. I was reading a book called “North of Beautiful” by Justina Chen when I saw it. I found out the exact same thing that David was explaining. Carpe diem was is like YOLO. I wish I had the guts, the bravery to do as I wish without fearing the consequence, but I don’t. I do not like being the main character in a play, I rather go unnoticed as a member of the stage crew. I don’t want to be an ostentatious model being photographed, I rather be the inconspicuous person behind the camera. I do not want to be the person signing, the rock star, I rather be working the sound system in the safety of the shadows. I can’t remember a time where I had been loud or comfortable being the center of attention, I was content to be an observer.
“ I am not a reckless punk,” the David’s voice carried itself around the room, “and it’s actually pretty ironic that these are the two words I chose.” The class silently agreed. David was not a bad boy, a dare devil, or even a jock, but he was also not a wallflower or class president. I had never thought about it before, but David is somebody that does not allow himself to be margined, defined, confined. That must be a beautiful state to live in. Never being tagged as a straight A student (aka: a nerd), a jerk jock (ha! Catch the alliteration?) or even the shy person (like me). I think two better words for him would be “free spirit”. I wonder why he did not choose something like that.
“I do not think that Carpe diem is a phrase that leads to self-destruction, but rather to self-control. That’s the beauty of the phrase: it’s misinterpreted, which is another thing we have in common. The art in seizing stuff in life is to know what to seize. Not everything is worth it, but not everything that’s uneccesary is going to be a waste.” David smiles to the class. “So,I tell you now young ones,” he got some laughs, “I advise you to live life like I. Don’t be afraid ‘break the monotony, do something strange and extravagant’ today.” I smiled involuntarily again. One thing about me is that I love quotes. Any that range from Taylor Swift to Shakespeare. Love quotes, life quotes, friendship quotes, and this was a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote.
David’s coffee-with-milk-colored eyes are dancing. I can tell he is satisfied with his presentation. He strides,no, swaggers, to his seat,not with arrogance, but with childish delight. A guy called Josh is in the seat next to David. As David takes a seat Josh congratulates him with a fist bump . I don’t know why, maybe it was the Waldo quote, or the way he smiled at me, but I want to clap. I want the thundering of my colliding hands to echo off the walls full of posters. I want to let David know that I liked his presentation, but I just sit quietly- like always- and stare at the back of his head.
My english teacher was standing at the front of the room now. She looked around the room, like a lion searching for a prey. Mrs.Bryan's blonde, wiry hair reflected light off as she craned her neck to get a better view of the last rows. Smack, smack. I hate how Ms.Bryan’s chews gum while teaching the class. It’s literally like, “Class, smack, smack, today we’re going to learn, smack, smack…” Not annoying at all, smack, smack. I tried to dive under my desk thinking that if I did not make eye contact with her, Ms.Bryan would not choose me.
“Ms.Parks smack, smack,” my heart stops as my name leaves the teacher’s mouth. I would have been annoyed with her loud chewing if I were not having a panic attack.
I open my mouth to respond, but my throat feels constricted as the imminence of my presentation. A presentation means that I’ll inevitably be the center of attention for at least three minutes. What am I going to say? What if I mess up? “No,” I tell myself, “You have a presentation. You went over the presentation. Now all you have to do is read it to a couple of people.” That is a good pep talk, but it isn’t working.
“Smack, smack. Ms.Parks? Are you coming up or not?” I swallowed hard as I finally showed some type of response to Ms.Bryans. I stood up, most of the class’s eyes already on me.
“Breathe,” I told myself. “One, two. One, two. One, two, three, four. Can I have a little more? Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, I love you. No! Focus! Now is not the time to be singing Beatles songs.” I start singing when I’m nervous: it’s good therapy. I’m about to laugh at my own weirdness, but I’ve gotten to the front of the room. Oh goodness, I think I’m going to hyperventilate. Everyone in the room is staring at me. I wish that I could be invisible. Maybe then I’ll let my voice be carried into the quiet classroom and I won’t have to fear being stared at, judged, examined.
“I-I-I,” I stutter. I can’t do it. Not here, not now, not ever.
“Ms.Parks,” Ms.Bryans pipes from her desk, “let me remind you that, smack, smack, this project is based, not only on your essay portion, but on your presentation as well. Smack smack.”
“Let me fail,” I thought, “it would be much better than the terror of being in front of a whole class.” But I know that’s not true. I care too much about my grades to allow myself to fail, but the truth is that I’m scared out of my wits right now.
I turn to the windows to my left. In them I see myself. My brown eyes are wide with fear, my dark coffee-without-milk-colored hair falls halfway down my back. It is straight, which is good because it means that I can use it to shield my face, which I do. I’m not a tall, skinny girl or a short, chubby one. I’m stuck in the middle, but I’m definetly not ugly. My cheekbones are high and my skin is a nice pale shade. I could definitely be beautiful if I weren’t scared to be outgoing. I shift my stare from the window to someone: to David. He smiles at me. A genuine smile. His smile reminds me of his presentation. Carpe diem. Carpe diem.He's right and I know it, but I can't bring myself to formulate any words in my mouth.
I sigh. Maybe I'll let myself fail just this once.
