Heart Rate

Chapter 3

Tears are streaming down my face and I dart for the library. I don't want to believe in what just happened in that class room. My face is still red and in the blur of the moment I collide with a boy exiting the lavatory. We both fall to the ground, and I wipe my face and repeatedly apologize.

"Chrissy?" He says. I stop and look up sniffing. It's Hunter.

"Y-Yea? I'm so sorry!" I repeat. He holds out a hand to help me up, and I take it.

"What's wrong Chris? He asks. I hate to cry in front of him. But I can't tell him how I am. I don't want anyone to know my condition. They'll see me as a freak and not the friend I am to them.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I lie.

"No your not Chris, just tell me."

,"I said I'm fine Hunter!" I don't mean to yell at him. And I run passed him, on my way to the library. Luckily, no one is in there but the librarian and her assistant. I sneak in, and crouch in the rows of books and burry my face in my knees holding myself tightly. I'm going completely insane; and there's nothing I can do about it. I hush my sobs just enough to hear the two women talking amongst themselves.

"Did you hear about the party of teens who killed that girl?" One says

"Yes! What a pity. It's such a shame."

"I think they all should be locked up, every single one of them."

"Agreed. But you know, I have my suspicions about that one girl. She doesn't seem stable."

"Which one? That Christian girl?"

"Christina is her name. She's some paranormal freak that girl."

I let out another silent cry, and my whole body tenses trying to contain the sound. My eyes dig into my knee caps. Then the bell rings. I get up and furiously wipe at my eyes with my sleeves, trying to remove evidence of the tears. People flood into the halls and I try and act as camouflage in them. Somebody grabs my arm turns me around. It's Dylan.

"Hey, Hunter told me what happened earlier... Are you okay?" He asks with with a concerned look.

I sniff before answering, "I'm just going to go home."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I, I'm fine."

"Okay. See you later then?"

I nod.

"Bye."

So I turn back around and walk out the side doors. Not even Dylan know about it. Sometimes I wondered why I had it, and not Serenity. She was my identical twin after all. We should be exact. But we aren't. Because I'm a freak and she's not. But I will tell her. I'll tell her everything that happened today. I have too.

Walking home seems as if I've been walking for an eternity. When I get to my house, I go straight to my bed, and instantly fall asleep.

I'm awaken by Serenity coming home from school. I throw myself out of the bed and I meet her in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal, like she usually does after school. She looks up at me and her expression changes in a split second.

"What?" She says full of question.

"I, uh, have to tell you something," I say not sure how to word it, "very important."

"Ok... Sit down and we'll talk about it." Even though Serenity was an exact copy of me, she seemed like the older sibling. She was smarter, and an all over better person than me. We get talking and I tell her about it. The groundhog, Lydia, and why I can't seem to remember anything. She seemed to blame everything on my medication. I wish everyone knew that things were hard for me. But I didn't want anyone to know I was bipolar. I knew Serenity would tell my dad. So he drives me to the Criminal Intent building, and I'm brought back in the room. But this time, it's not Detective Starker I see in the busy room. It's the short-haired brunette woman who was writing on a notepad at the crime scene. Her eyes glance at me again, and my palms start to sweat. Again in the gray room, I feel safe. What if my dad tells them I'm bipolar? They wont yell at me, or treat me like I'm a criminal. No, they will treat me like a baby. I hate that idea. Short mumbled words escape through a vent. I can make out a whole conversation. They had a connection, to Angela's dad. He was a retired policeman, and had never caught a girl who was doing bad things to people. A girl who strongly resembled Lydia. But it wasn't her. Now they were pin-pointing me. I was their target, and they had their guns aimed and loaded at the bullseye-my head.

I stare at myself again in the mirror, but I don't see me. I see an altered girl, who is made of harsh pixels mushed together. Would they even understand? No.-Yes?-Maybe. Perhaps even a doctor will come in. My suspicions are correct. A man with black hair comes in the room. He is possibly Chinese, but speaks in a perfect American accent.

"Hello, I am Dr. Wong," His voice is soft and understanding.

"Hi."

"Now, your dad told us you have an illness Christina."

"I know I'm a freak, Don't remind me."

"No one is calling you a freak Christina. I'm here to help you."

"Help me? No one can help me. Ill be like this forever there isn't a cure for bipolar disease!" I yell and tears again start to flow from my eyes.

"Tell me what happened that night."

"I don't remember! Ok! I don't even know how she died! I just know I did it. I feel guilty but I have no memory of even talking to her!"

"It's the medication your taking. It will make you forget things for your own sake. Like what happened in orchestra today. Do you remember that?"

"What? What happened in Orchestra? Do I even take orchestra?" Do I? I don't remember that. See! I'm going insane! Unless he is lying to me.

"You don't remember horrible things Christina. That's normal for your medication. It's better for you." He says. I just sit there and cry. Rocking in the corner, crying; like the stupid little baby I am.

"So arrest me then!" I scream.

"You won't be put in jail, Christina. You'll be but in a medical facility for a couple years and be put on new medication to help you remember to explain to a jury."

"No! I won't go there! I'm not! I won't! Why can't I just die!" I get up and immediately I feel enraged. I pound my fists on the mirror and push my head to it until my forehead turns white from the pressure. I quickly turn around and walk back to the chair.

"What are you staring at!" I shout. But he just stares at me! I wish he would just say something!