Picked~A Melanin Tale

22~Going Through It

Shit, I wish it really was that easy to make it with my siblings. But you guys should know better then to ever think it would ever be that easy.

When they came downstairs talking about the date with Seth in all that girly mess, I sat there on the sofa trying to Rack my brain on how to do this. I look at my cue cards and push them on the floor. I don't look back at them for they are not paying attention to me period I stare straight at the television but I am not watching it.

"Sisters, I think we need to talk." Is all that came out of my mouth. But it was just below a whisper so they could not hear me. I am quietly rehearsing to myself what the say.

I finally get up and walk over to them in the kitchen my breathing is slow as I try to calm my heart rate down. Ask questions first then start throwing bows later.

"I need to talk to you guys." I say it a little louder and they turn around from whatever they were doing. They face me and a trickle of sweat going down my sides causes me to flinch a little. I can only hope this goes well.

"There are some things I need to get off my chest. And I would more than likely like the truth. And nothing but the truth. If I find out that you are lying to me which more than likely I will find out you will get decked in your jaw. No more questions asked."

"Wait a fucking minute, Nubia." Zadia places her hands on her hips and rolls her neck at me. "You can't just come in here and fucking tell us that shit. We are your sisters."

"Yeah," Zakia backs her stepping forward with her arms across her chest.

"My sisters wouldn't lie to me about stupidness. Now I'm running this show and I demand answers."

Zakia steps back knowing I mean business. Zadia, on the other hand, stands her ground with her hands on her hips.

I tap my chin looking between both of my sisters. Seething in thought, I look to Zakia, whom seems the most nervous about this sudden encounter.

"Little sister..." I grin.

Zakia looks up as she begins to break into a cold sweat. "Mhmm?"

I sit on the stool at the breakfast nook and twiddle my fingers like a mad scientist would. "This whole Seth thing. Explain this to me."

"Well, we went on a date,"

"Right. Go on."

Zakia begins to get excited, " we went to this wonderful restaurant and he paid for everything period then we went for a walk in the park and he bought me this stuffed animal in this store. It was the most amazing day." She squeals.

"Right. See, I have a problem with that."

Zakia frowns, "Well, what problem do you have with Seth taking me on a date?

I tap my fingers on the marble counter in front of me. "This is the guy who you said embarrassed you at a party is supposed to leave it some unspeakable things to you."

Zakia's face does drop just like it did in my daydream. "I was just mad that he rejected me. He didn't even think about giving me a chance. He was always into those stuck up bitches. I just wanted to get even with him."

"By having me shoot the poor guy?!" I scream.

Fear covers my young sister's face and her eyes widen, "I didn't think you would go that far. Like I said I just wanted to get even with the guy and switch schools, to a school with art programs."

"Why didn't you just as mom and dad to transfer schools then? Instead of going through all of this bullshit?"

"They wouldn't let me transfer without a really good reason." Zakia explains her reasoning.

Zadia is unusually silently, I cut my eyes at her and back to Zakia. "So, you told them the same story you told me?"

Zakia hangs her head, "No, I just told them that I was being bullied and that I refused to go back the next day. I told them that the day after I told you that thing. They let me pick the school and that was the end of that."

"If those fucking cops had have found out I did that to Seth, Zakia! My ass would have been under that fucking jail!" I shout and move closer to her. My voice echoes throughout the house. "Not in the jail, under the fucking jail. Do you hear me little girl? After this, there is no more fucking chances." I want to wring her neck.

She backs up and begins to cry and tremble. "Oh my god, Nubia. I am so sorry. I didn't know that. I really didn't." Her hands cover her face as she sobs.

"That's harsh, Nubia." Zadia finally speaks up with a shake of her head. She walks over to comfort Zakia.

"Zadia, you fucking...." I stop myself from calling her a bitch ass hoe. "You aren't much better with your secret about Jafaris." I turn to her. I can fell my hands shake a little, itching to punching something or someone.

Zadia sucks her teeth, "what in the fuck are you talking about?" Zadia rolls her eyes.

I am so glad our parents aren't here. "Your secret thing about Jafaris. He told me how you acted when he left you. I don't understand why you didn't just tell me what you had with him. Why did it have to be this huge secret?" I spread my arms out then drop them to my side.

"Psh, your boyfriend is lying. Plus, would you have left him if I had told you what happened?"

"Is he lying? And I wouldn't have left him because he hasn't done anything wrong to me. It would make no sense."

"Not yet, Nubia. You don't know him like I do."

"I may not. Not yet. But, I know that he wouldn't lie to me about that." I step to her and find my hands going for her neck.

I have thought about my parents coming home to the two dead bodies of my sisters, if this went wrong. I have thought about killing them if they didn't tell me the truth and burying their bodies in our backyard under the concrete. Then telling my parents that they ran away from home to fulfill their dreams of becoming more than sheltered teens.

I drop my hands. "I have asked you plenty of times, but you refused to tell me for whatever reason."

Zadia rubs her arms and looks to the side.

I decide to now take a different approach.

"Look," my voice softens as I look at my sisters. "I don't know why you two have changed sine I have been gone. I know change is a part of life, but I don't like this type of change. I know what I did and I paid for it. But, you two don't have to treat me bad for it or keep secrets or lie. I am not feeble. I am still adjusting to life here and I was hoping you two would help me get back to what was "normal" around here. I mean...we use to be inseparable. What the hell happened while I was gone?"

"We went through a lot of bullshit while you were gone, Nubia." Zakia speaks up. "We didn't know how to handle it without you being here to scare them straight. So, we dealt with it the best we could."

"You could have called me. I would have helped or asked mom and dad to visit me. I was still your sister, I still am your sister. I would have been there if you two needed me. I still wanted to feel as though I was a part of the family, if not, then a sister. I needed you two and you two needed me."

"We are sorry, Nubia." Zadia says.

"I am too. But, you guys have to stop treating me like I am this fragile shit. I am not. I am still adjusting to life without fighting and all that." I look tot he side. "That kind of didn't happen." I look back at them. "I know this is going to be hard. But we have to try and be there for each other. Because at the end of the day, we are all we got."

We hug each other.

"Promise."

I am not too sure about this or how this is going to really go. Only time will tell.