Little Kitten

Wanting to Die

Nightmare plagued the poor boys mind as he tossed and turned in the large bed. In the dream, he was being chased by this large black mass of moans and groans. He ran as fast as he could away from it, but he was suddenly yanked backwards onto the ground; there was a steel collar and chain attached around his neck, and hands from the black mass were pulling at it. He screamed and cried as he tried to pull himself away and get the collar off, but it was no use; he was slowly being dragged by the hands coming from the mass. Once they reached him, the hands grabbed at his clothes and skin; the hands burned his skin, and all he could do is scream from the pain. He screamed, and screamed for someone to save him, but even his voice fell deaf to his own ears. Just as the mass was about to consume him completely, he saw this light and this figure; he could tell it was a person and it wasn't too tall, but before he could tell anything else he was surrounded in darkness.

Jongin woke from the nightmare screaming, and sweating profusely; he was breathing heavily as he got off the bed, and he cradled himself on the floor next to the bed. His tears were already falling, and they only fell quicker as he rocked himself. Most of the nights he slept were like this, so he tried to sleep as less as possible to avoid having nightmares. When he woke from his nightmares he would just stay up for the rest of the night until his owner came to wake him up in the morning. During these hours, Jongin would think about how his life has been these past eleven years, which have been hell; he would once again contemplate suicide, even though he could never bring himself to do it; he would think about what would come next in his life, which would probably be more hell; he would think about his brother, and that is what gets him. Jongin had a twin brother named Taemin; he was older by just a few minutes. He missed his brother so much, and most of the time he wished he could see Taemin again.

The current owner was the head of a company of which Jongin didn't know the name of. Like all the other times, Jongin was being rented; the person that really owned him was a trafficker who got their money by selling and renting out people for sex or work. The trafficker that owned him liked Jongin very much, so he only put Jongin up for rent; Jongin made the trafficker a lot of money because he was 'beautiful'. The current owner Jongin had was just like the others, wanting him mostly for sex; when they werent having sex, Jongin was doing work around the house with the other housekeepers. His owner was married, and his wife hated Jongin; things could have been slightly better if it wasn't for her making his life even more of a hell. Whenever his current owner left for work, his wife treated him lower than dirt and abused him; his current owner was actually sort of nice, but his wife made Jongin not like it here.

Like usual, his current owner would have sex with him before work; it wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best either; Jongin just chose to space out during these times.

"You know, I like you a lot. I recently got a whole bunch a money, so I can convince your seller to let me have you permanently; what do you say about that, Kai," the man said as he fixed his tie in front of the mirror. Kai, which was the name his seller gave him, just laid in the middle of the bed while staring at the ceiling; the covers were barely coving his naked body, and he slowly glanced over at the older man. The older man just looked at Kai and sighed before coming over to him, and kissing him on the forehead.

"I know you're tired, so we can talk about it later; however, we do need to talk about it before my renting time is up." The man pets Kai hair before leaving. Once he knew the man was gone, Kai quickly limped to the bathroom as fast as he could. He didn't care if the water from the shower was scalding hot, he just wanted to rid the filth from his body; even if his skin was clean, he felt so dirty as he rubbed his skin until it was bright red. When Kai came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, the man's wife was leaning on the doorframe of the bedroom door glaring at him. He tried to ignore her as he found some clothes to put on, which consisted of just boxers and a large t-shirt, but her persistent gaze made him feel uneasy. And her abuse began.

"I still dont know why he likes you so much, you're not even attractive; with your dark skin, and boniness, just disgusting!" Kai tried covering his ears, but she came over and yanked his arms away.

"You are going to listen to me! You are worthless; you think you can act all high and mighty because my husband is fucking you and giving you our food, but you arent! If it wasn't for him, I would have just killed you already," she hisses as her red nails dig into the flesh of his arms. She doesn't know how much Kai wishes she would just kill him already; he couldn't take this life anymore. Kai had begun to cry, and the woman just sneered at him.

"You are pathetic," she jeered as she back-handed him across the face, making him fall to the floor. "You have a mess to clean up in the kitchen, so go do it!" All Kai could do was get up and go do as he was told, and as he cleaned the kitchen, every knife he came across, he thought about just driving the blade into his stomach.