Out Of The Ashes (A Pokémon Fanfiction) ~on Hold

Chapter 2: Stay Strong!

Chapter 2: Stay Strong!

As the days dragged by, he began to crumble apart. He was tired all the time, and unmotivated. He slept throughout the day in irregular intervals. Sleep was nice because he didn't dream at all and didn't have to think and remember and hold himself together and muster up a smile. Shutting himself in Oak's spare bedroom bought him a level of isolation that he had never sought before. Oak tried to pull him out by offering to share his discoveries, or show off his old Pokemon team, but even then Ash could barely stay downstairs for an hour at most without fleeing.

The much-enthused day for new Pokemon trainers was pushed back several months while the extensive damage to the lab and surrounding houses was repaired. Nobody complained. An event of such horrible magnitude had never soiled the town's reputation before, and no one was prepared to deal with it. It was as though the appalling terroristic act had sullied the town's very foundations, and an invisible cloud seemed to hang low over the tops of the buildings every day. Police cars slipped into the town constantly, their tires carving deep ruts in the dirt path. A few officers tried to get a statement from Ash, but Oak turned them away with respectful but firm negative. Ash watched them plod back to their car from the upstairs window.

Ash finished his meals dutifully under the watchful eye of Professor Oak and his aides. He felt too soul-sick to argue or turn them away. The food might as well have been coals in his mouth for all the appeal it held, but he choked it down somehow. Gary made sure to tempt him with snacks every hour, but Ash politely denied the offering whenever he could. He wasn't trying to starve himself, he just had no appetite, and no patience for the act of eating.

As the weeks after the incident stretched on, Gary began to flip-flop between his cocky and crass personality, and his suddenly helpful, understanding side. Sometimes he made a cutting remark and then cringed, as though waiting for Ash to throw himself out of the window. Other times, his overtures of companionship and aid were so overpowering that Ash finally demanded to be left alone, at least for a little while.

After the three month mark, Oak brought in a therapist.

Her name was Mary, and she was very sweet and kind and soft-spoken, just like his mother. She had also once been a trainer in her youth (she was now 62), and when Ash showed the slightest bit of interest in the information, brought in her old Espeon. Espeon was the most exotic and intelligent Pokemon Ash had seen yet. She liked to curl up on Ash's lap and let him stroke down her velvety spine while she dozed.

Oftentimes, they just talked about whatever-Ash's favorite Pokemon (undecided), his favorite food, what he liked to do in his free time, his friends, his goals. When Ash talked about them, he felt hollow.

"I feel like they're not mine anymore," he confessed. Espeon stretched and purred in his arms, sending out a pulse of soothing emotions. He was grateful, as it allowed him to speak without his throat closing up. "Like they belong to somebody else. I'm not sure how they fit me after-you know. I don't find joy in them anymore." He looked away immediately after finishing. Maintaining eye contact was difficult these days. He felt like people could see the sorrow written plainly on his face. It made him feel uncomfortable and exposed.

"You don't find joy in them anymore, or you don't find joy in the thought of them anymore?" Mary asked, hands folded primly in her lap.

Ash shrugged. "Both, I guess." He scratched at the base of the jewel embedded in Espeon's forehead. The psy Pokemon rippled her large ears in contentment at the petting.

She arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Come on, Ash, when's the last time you created your own custom Pokemon team? Watched Champion Lance battle on television? Played outside with Gary?"