Mending A Broken Heart

Chapter One

Chapter One

"Hey, Niall, wanna go to the club tonight?" Sean asks me, strumming his guitar, making lovely chords.

"Sure," I answer, scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed.

It's been six months since Hope has passed, so I see a few pictures of her. Her mid-laugh smile shows up on my laptop screen and I smile at it. The one and only girl I loved. My best friend. Her gorgeous blue eyes, luminous and bright, make me wish I could just look into them again, one more time, and tell her that I truly loved her. That I honestly loved her with all my heart. That I still do. That, in my eyes, she was perfect. Even that stubborn girl that wanted everything her way... I found it adorable in every way.

On Facebook, no one says anything about her besides her friends. I'm her only friend that is quiet. No statuses, no pictures, nothing. Her parents and family members don't say anything either. Our Facebooks are peaceful and silent.

"You okay, mate?" Sean asks me, forcing me to look at him and nod, though I'm not.

Of course I'm not okay! I want to scream. My best friend died six months ago today! Who could ever be okay when this is going on?

On these bad days, I wish I could just talk to her. I wish I could have a conversation with her, but that's impossible. Though... I can talk to her. Just not here, Sean would interrupt me. I need to be alone.

"I'll see you later," I tell Sean, standing and leaving the room, shutting the door after I grab my car keys. I don't even wait for a reply.

* * *

Tears already running down my cheeks, I lay the flowers that I picked up on the way, on Hope's grave. I crouch down and look at her stone. The words engraved in the stone make the tears flow faster.

Hope L. Peterson

Dec. 24, 1993 - Dec. 4, 2011

Hastily wiping the tears, and lightly chuckling at myself, I begin to speak. "Hey, Hope," I say softly, but loud enough for me to hear myself speak. Another tear rolls down my cheek, though I don't feel it or see it until I see it hit my trousers, darkening the tone of my jeans in that one small spot.

"I really miss you," I whisper now, not able to be louder. I'm becoming weaker at the moment, like all of those emotional walls that block out all of the tears are falling down. I feel my hands shaking against my knees. I take in many shaky breaths, my vision blurring and the engravings become blobs of colour.

"I wish you were still here... healthy. I'm glad that you're not suffering anymore... but I just miss you," I continue, pausing every once in a while to sob. "I..."

I stop short, wishing that I could express the words that I'm feeling inside. I wish that she really understood when she was alive. I wish she knew how I felt.

"I love you, Hope," I say. That's all of what I have. I have nothing else to say because I can't really express anything but that. There's no words. I could probably go on, saying what I loved about her, but I can't say in words how much I loved those things, so I'll just leave it at that.

At the moment, I start to feel a little bit... lighter. I don't know if I'm getting paranoid or anything, but I feel something that I want to believe is Hope. The something feels to be here with me. I don't know how to explain it other than that it's a positive aura. I feel a familiar feeling in the pit o my stomach. I feel like I'm in a daze and everything in my life is calm again.

It's a feeling that is so strong, yet subtle, that it makes you feel happy again, for only an instant. As soon as it's gone, I'm back in the cemetery, wanting the feeling back for eternity.