The Journal

A/N: This is a fan fiction based off of Justin's Thoughts. They obviously are not HIS thoughts but they are what I think he might think about when he see's the things being written about him. I've never done this before, and please keep in mind that I am not a male and I obviously have no idea what goes on in their heads. Hope you guys enjoy this fan fiction just as I do writing it.

(This is starting right after Justin blew up at the paps. "I'll beat the fucking fuck outta you.")

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Tour's been a pain in the neck. I'm starting to stress majorly, thinking more about things that mean less to others. The stress is building larger and larger every passing day. Scooter offered this solution, you know, writing. He told me when I'm feeling something that I should just start writing my feelings down. I think this is a bit girlish. It's like a diary, right? No, it IS a diary. I can't believe I'm actually even writing in this stupid journal. I'm not saying this is something I would actually want to do but I'm willing to try anything other than going to classes. Not the normal kind either. Anger management classes. Scooter said my anger is getting a little out of control. I mean, I'm not fighting anyone but he said that the anger is with my facial expressions and my choice of words. I guess I just don't have a filter on my mouth anymore. A few days ago we had a run in with the paps. I hate those guys. It seems like they can't leave me alone! I've tried every way possible to stay away from them. They seem to always find a way to me. Throwing names everytime they catch a glimpse of me.

Fag

Gay

Worthless

Talent-less

Lesbian

I'm not sure why they choose me to do this too. I'm starting to think I did it to myself. But, I refuse to let them bring me down.

What kind of example would I be if I listened to what people said about me? The only opinion that matters is my own. No one else' . I'm trying this whole journal thing out. Maybe this will keep me happy. I'd give it a try, I needed to be happy.

I want to be happy. I'm trying to stay happy.They... the beliebers need me happy. I have to keep my smile on my face, even through the rough times. Me and Selena are finally getting along. With me touring, it's been kinda hard for us to stay on the same page. It's sad actually. I love her, I want this to work out. I hope this whole journal thing will help me out. 

                                                                 - Justin.