Waking Up: Part 1

I wake up on the wet sand screaming Peeta's name, and it seems like hours until he's awake cradling me in his arms.

 "Peeta, they were tourturing you." I manage to choke out in between sobs. 

 "I know, but I'm here now. Don't worry. Shh." Peeta whispers.

 My nightmare was much worse than that though. This nightmare was unlike any of the others during the Quell. But, then again, being in the Quell is a living nightmare. All I really remember from the dream was that I was tied to restraints while Peeta was whipped and stabbed with an army of different weapons. And I felt so helpless, I wanted to help him so bad and I was close, yet so far away from him. 

 It is the third week of the Quater Quell and the only tributes left are Peeta and I, Brutus, Enobaria, and Beetee. I am secretly hoping that Brutus or Enobaria kill Beetee because I just can't pull myself together enough to do it. Peeta has mentioned multiple times that we should ally with Beetee like we did when Finnick was alive but I can't look Beetee in the eyes after what happened with Finnick and Johanna under his watch. 

 _

 It was only the sixth day of the Quell, and it was the worst day of all of them. Beetee explained a plan to kill the other tributes  by using a wire that he invented and tying it a tree that was struck with lightning every 12 hours to electrocute the others who were in the water or on the damp sand. But, when Johanna and Finnick were gone unraveling it, the lighting went off early, somewhat unexpectedly, and killed them both on impact.     

 I feel as if I can never forgive Beetee because I have the need to repay Finnick for restarting Peeta's heart that first day in the Games and now I will never have the chance to do that. But, also, I can relate to him about feeling that you have lost the love of your life. And that life may go on for others but yours is stale and unforgiving. He gave me hope that letting Peeta live could give him another chance at happiness.

Johanna on the other hand, I did care about her also, surprisingly. Maybe not as much as Finnick, but I still did. She was very stubborn and rude but also had some personable qualities as well. Come to think of it, she was just like me. I never really got why she was that extra-inch more angry at the Capitol than the rest of us, but, I don't question it. I grieved her passing for a day or two but then put my focus back on keeping Peeta alive soon after. 

That day was also hard because I actually had to watch Peeta kill somebody. Sure it was just the drunkard from District 3 but it was still someone. I never thought I would ever see him as mad as he was in that moment. It was a little attractive to see how in control and masculine looking he was but it was also frightening to see the actual damage that he could do to people. Nonetheless, I still love him deeply.

_

Three screams quickly fill the arena and I am shaken to the bone. The screams feel fairly close so I jump up at lightning speed and draw my arrow back. Peeta is poised for a fight while protecting my back. Then the cannons go off.

 I immediately fill with joy but then it is quickly exchanged with extreme fear and sadness. I now realize that Peeta and I are the only two left.

"What are we going to do?" I ask Peeta worridely.

"What do you mean? We won!" He exclaims. Then his expression changes in an instant. My heart aches and I don't want to leave him. But, what else can we do? Live in the Arena for the rest of our lives? Kill eachother? Wait it out and hope for a rule change?

 We just walk around the area holding hands for about 10 minutes thinking. It's when the lightning strikes midnight that I realize what I have to do.

_

We reach sector one in about five minutes, where the fog is, but luckily Peeta is too focused on his thoughts that he doesn't seem to notice. I stop and turn around so we are looking eachother in the eyes.

 "I love you, Peeta. I want you to know that." I mumble trying to hold back tears. I give him a long and passionate kiss before letting go in the direction of the fog.

"What are you doing Katniss? Katniss? Katniss! NO!" Peeta screams. The last words that I hear from him before I black out are; "I'll see you soon!"