The Vision of Escaflowne 2

Chapter 5

As promised, Merle returned shortly with a try of soup and freshly made bread and some water for Hitomi.  Merle took her leave after handing over the tray to Hitomi who was still in bed.  The room was silent except for the noises of Hitomi eating the soup and the metal soup hitting against the bowl.

Hitomi was the first to break the long silence between them both.

“How did I get here Van?”  She asked, not looking up at him.

“I found you, you were on the floor and bleeding to death, I brought you here, to Fanelia.  Why would you do that Hitomi?”

At hearing his words she stopped her spoon mid way and slowly set it back into the bowl.

“It isn’t any of your concern.” Hitomi said, finally look into his eyes.

“What do you mean?” He replied, his faced looked slightly puzzled.

“I mean, you haven’t spoken to me in years, I began to believe that you weren’t even real.”

“What? Hitomi I’ve been busy, I am a King” His eyes became more slit like and he looked slightly annoyed at her.

The hurt was evident on her face and tears welled in her eyes. “Too busy to talk to me.” She stated.  She always thought that he cared for her.  She always felt like he was the only person that did and yet he may as well have said that he didn’t care for at all.

Van’s face softened when he noticed her eyes glisten and became slightly red.

“I’ve never been too busy for you Hitomi, but you seemed to become more distant every time we spoke until one day, you just weren’t there anymore.  I thought you moved on Hitomi.”

As she blinked tears dropped from her eyes.  Maybe it was her fault as well that they lost their connection.  She had always thought it was his, but now, hearing it from his mouth made her realise that she was also partially to blame.  Looking back up at Van she asked. “Didn’t you?”

“No.” 

The word was said quick and flat from his lips.  And hearing it brought a wave of hope into her eyes and her heart began to beat just a little bit quicker.

“What? I thought you would have been married by now to some Fanelian girl or some princess.”  Van could see she looked puzzled.

“No, I mean, I should be, But I’m not.” He said.

“Why not?” She said it without thinking.  It shot out of her mouth quicker than she met to. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Van felt his face heat up slightly and Hitomi saw a blush on his cheeks that seemed to spread to her own when the gravity of his words hit her and she sucked in her breath when she realised.

Van continued.  “I thought you were happy on the mystic moon, I thought you that you maybe had moved on?” 

She could hear the question in his tone as well.  He wanted to know. “No.”

“Hitomi, I went to see you, because I had to know you were happy.”

“I wasn’t happy” She looked defeated.

“Why not?”  The look on his face showed his concern.

“I don’t know Van, my life was just not the same when I went home. I shouldn’t have gone.”  She finally admitted to him.

“You shouldn’t?” He asked.

“No.” She looked down at her tray of food.  She could feel herself getting embarrassed but she needed to say it.  Hitomi took a deep breath to continue. “I wanted to stay, and I didn’t. I left because I thought I had to.”  She felt his hand grasp her right hand.  His hand was rough and warm against her own. 

“It’s not too late.  To stay.. Here.”  She looked up into his eyes. Maybe he did want her after all.

“I have nothing here Van, no home, no family, no means for anything.”

“You have me, and merle.  I would be very happy if you would stay with,” he paused. “Us.”

“Ohh,” She sighed. Lifted her spoon up from the bowl and placed it into her month.  It was now cold. Typical.

******

Van stayed with her the rest of that night, and Merle joined them later in the evening as well.  Conversations did not travel any further beyond general topics such as friends, Fanelia and the weather.  Maybe though that was a good thing.  Hitomi wasn’t sure if she wanted another heartfelt conversation anytime soon.  Having one of those with Van left her feeling somewhat happy and a little bit sad.  It always seemed to be two steps further and then one step back with him. 

She lay in bed, her arm was still painful.  She glanced down at it and sighed.  She did want to die.  She wanted the pain to be over with.  And yet, as she lay in bed tonight, she couldn’t help but be glad that she was still alive.  Five years later and she had finally returned.  But so much had happened in those years which made her wonder, if staying in Fanelia was a good idea or not.  She would be stupid and naive to think that they would both just click into place together after all this time.  She had changed since she last saw him and she held no doubt that he had also.  This was her definitely an opportunity; maybe for a new life or an old love or even both, she wasn’t sure, but would it make her happy? She wasn’t too sure.