Ephemeral › Produce101 PD101 ff

f i r s t ;

My palms were full with sweat as I was waiting for the results. Looking around the people around made me feel worse.

"You're in" the judge smiled to me, both my eyes and mouth were widened. I couldn't believe myself.

I walked out of the room, feeling relieved yet excited. I'm finally here. Everything's gonna change.

Looking at this unfamiliar city from the wide window, I had an instant flashback.

I came back from school and went straight into my room. I had a tough day in school Not the typical tough, I'm the only person that will experience this kind of tough.

Other than scrolling my phone, I used my computer to watch random YouTube videos.

"Dinner's done" Grandmother called me. I went down right after, before I get scolded by mom.

"How's today's meal?" Mom asked me.

"Yeah they're fine" I averted my eyes away.

"How's school?"

"Nothing much"

She nodded and the table was quiet.

"Mom do you remember my primary school friend? Robert?"

"Yeah why?"

"I heard one of my friend said that he wants to be a boxer"

"So?"

"Well, his friends are laughing at him for it and honestly I don't think it's right"

"Mm hmm" it's obvious enough that she doesn't want to hear what I'm saying.

"I mean- that's his dream. No one should be laughed at for having a dream. I support him though"

"Did his mom agree to it?"

"What do you think" I said with a monotone. 'Asian parents' of course don't agree to those dreams right

"Of course she won't it's not even a job???"

"If that's people's dream I fully support them. I understand that it's dangerous but I also understand that this is what they want. If there's a journey without obstacles, will the success be reached?"

Oh shit I talked too much.

"Did you get back your test papers" mom asked me while rolling her eyes.

"No" I rolled mine too, when my test papers were actually hidden in my bag.

I finished my food quick so I could get off this intense area. Despite not having any homework, I used my phone again after showering.

Thinking about my conversation just now, I thought about myself. I remember four years ago, I asked my mom, what if I did it. She replied 'great job child!' but with sarcasm.

From that day on, I never really trust what she says, anymore. It's the first day I knew what's sarcasm, also the day where I start to be aware of my surroundings and understanding this world.