Secrets From The Stars. (OneDirection FanFic)

Chapter16: Sad.

Chapter16: Sad.

**Mara's POV**

I don't know who to feel. I don't know what to think. I just feel sad. I can't remember what has happened, i just know i'm weak. I feel so sad. Like, all of a sudden sadness consumed me, it's like home and happiness is just a place i visit. But shouldn't it be the other way round? I feel as if i can't go on. Like, i have nothing to live for or to look forward to so what is the point of me even being here. "How you feeling?" I hear Harry ask from beside me. He can do so much better than me. I'm not even going to answer his question. There's no need to. He's the only one bothered to see me and maybe he was made to by the others so they wouldn't have to come. I just want my heart to stop thumping. Peace, i want peace. I want these voices in my head to go away. I want to be six feet under. I can't go on anymore, i've stayed so strong for too long. I need to let go of everything and i would say move on but i don't want to do that. I want to die. Simple as. How do you kill the demon inside of you without killing yourself? It's impossible. I felt a hand grab mine, i turned to look at Harry. "I know this is really hard for you.." i can't be bothered to hear this speach, i just want to sleep and never wake up. Does that make me a bad person?.. I turned my head to the other side of the room, away from Harry and i sighed. I've had enough. "Alright, i just wont say anything." Harry sighed. I feel really bad now. "Just leave?" i asked him. "No, i'm going to stay with you until you're well again" He replied. "What if i don't want to get better?" i was supposed to ask in my head but asked out loud. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Nothing" i replied. How am i supposed to tell him that i want to just die. That i don't want to walk out those hospital doors because i'm too scared to become even more broken than i already am. 

I don't want to be like this.

**Harry's POV**

She wont even talk to me. What am i supposed to do? What am i supposed to say?  She wont even look at me. Did i do something stupid? What is running through her mind. She just seems so.. sad. How do i make her happy? How do i make her feel loved if she wont even talk to me or even look at me? Is it my fault she's like this? Maybe someone has come to talk to her? The thought of that makes me feel so angry. "Has someone done anything to you? Or said anything to you?" ..Nothing. Not even a sigh. She seems so broken. How do i fix her? How do i make her feel better? For three hours now she hasn't spoken, or even eaten. She's refusing everything we do to help her. Everything to make her feel better and she just pushes it away. "I want to go home, Harry." her voice barely a whisper. "You need to get better." I replied because it's the truth. If she's this week there's no way they doctors are going to let her out in her state. She looks ill. "The doctors wont let you go if you're unwell, maybe you could have some food, make you look a bit better. Maybe then they might take it into consideration." She nodded no. "I want to sleep." was her reply. "Okay. Can i do something to help with that?" i asked. "No." She replied. Her eyes soon fell shut. Atleast she spoke, i guess. Her eyes started fluttering and her eyes opened. Wow, she sleeps in 30 seconds? "I can't sleep." She whispered. "Want me to lay down next to you?" I asked hopefully. "No, go see if Ema is okay and Leila. I don't deserve your help." What? Did she actually just say that? "You deserve all the help you can get." I replied. "Just because of what happened in my past and the fact that i'm in hospital, doesn't mean you have to use your sympathy on me. You're in the world's biggest boy band, you deserve so much more. Just leave, now." She replied. "I would drop all of that for you Mara. I would do anything to make you feel okay. I want you to feel okay. Stop trying to push me away, it's not happening, i am NOT leaving you."  She just sighed. I took hold of her hand and she once again shut her eyes. This time she actually fell asleep. I am going to talk to a doctor maybe he or she will know what's happening. As i walked down the corridoor i walked past Leila's room and she was there cradled in Niall's arms. He was humming a song to her and she broke out into a smile. I carried on walking and found the doctor i spoke to earlier, "Doctor?" I called. "Yes, mr Styles?" "I-er- Mara isn't herself. I mean, she's asleep now but she seems so down. I want to know what's going on but she's hardly spoken in the past 3 hours. Maybe you could find out for me?" I asked. "I'm a doctor, not a mind reader. You'll have to talk to her. She will not talk to me as i am just her doctor, you obviously mean so much to her if she is to talk to anyone it would be you." "Okay" i sighed, walking back to Mara's room and there she was. Her eyebrows furrowed as she dreamt. "Ai-aiden. Stop." She struggled. Wait, Aiden!!? Why on Earth is she dreaming about HIM!? "I know what i said but you didn't agree to it." She once again spoke. "Why me?" She asked. I have to wake her up. I ran over to her side and gently shook both shoulders. "Mara? Boo? Wake up.. Come on darling. Open them beautiful eyes of yours.." And then her eyes struck open her body leaped  forward at me as she grabbed my face in both hands and kissed me. oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow! She was sitting up now kneeling on her bed while i stood having to look down to kiss her whilst she looked up. She was really short. But wow oh wow oh wow. She lay down and i was hovering above her my arms at both sides of her body supporting me up so i wouldn't hurt her. This was perfect. But why was she acting okay? I stopped kissin her and looked deeply in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I just, i feel so sad, i can't put it into words.You make me happy, don't let me push you away." "You're so beautiful." was my reply and we once again kissed, she was holding onto both sides of my face. We heard shuffling of footsteps at the door. I opened my eyes and stopped kissing Mara. "Well.. Well.. Well.." And that's when Mara's eyes shot open to look at my green ones. Her eyes were full of terror. I've never heard this voice before. "Who is it? " Our eyes were still both locked onto eachothers. "My dad." She whispered. "Hero or Villain?" I asked. "Villain" She replied and that's when i climbed off Mara and looked at her dad. "What do you want?" I asked him. "That's not a good way to make a good impression to your girlfriends dad." I gritted my teeth and he chuckled at me. "Please leave me alone, like you have done for how many years now?" Mara spoke up. "What do you call me!?" Her dad shouted at her. "Daddy." Mara whimpered. "Right, Mara you're going to make him leave now. So we can talk." He said amused. I laughed and Mara looked at me as if she was trying to warn me about something. "You really think i'm leaving Mara in a room alone with you?"I asked "Yes." He replied. "Over my dead body." I laughed. "Fine, have it your way" He said  walking out. "Harry, you idiot, he's going to hurt you. He'll do anything to have me, just like Aiden" she said sounding defeated.