Today was abnormal.
The morning started of peaceful when I awoke to find a rum cake waiting for me on the table that Emma and Henry had made me for my birthday. It was all I needed, then of course, the Charmings had to make it a big deal and they wanted to throw me something called a birthday party. What the bloody hell is a birthday party?
After a long phone call over my talking phone,
David "corrected" me a third time by saying it was just called a phone. Your majesty has also informed me that a birthday party was something that people throw for each other on their birthday. They bring gifts, eat the cake that others have made for YOU, and sing you a stupid song. I don't want a bloody lullaby on my 310th birthday, mate!
David said that Snow wants the party to be on the Jolly Roger. My soon to be mother in law wants me to host a party for me on MY ship. The only time I have ever had that people on my ship, I killed all of them. I don't even know half of the people in Storybrooke.
After the party,
So it turns out, no one knows what to get me. Granny got me bottle of goats milk. Happy, Bashful, Sleepy, Doc, and Dopey got me an ax. Grumpy didn't get me anything, and Sneezing sneezed on my rum. The only good gift was a personalized rum casket from Henry. Oh, and the three worse possible that could happen, happened.
1. ) While he was cutting the cake, Sleepy fell asleep.
2. ) Regina lit my sail on fire while trying to light the cake with her fireballs.
3. ) Emma got drunk, so for the whole party I had to make sure she didn't fall overboard
I really don't understand why people even have these stupid bloody parties. Nothing is good about it. That's the last party I will ever go to.
