Poetry, if even

To save. 26APR17

     Why'd you do it? Why'd you spread what we both know didn't happen? Was it to save yourself? Because it definitely didn't help to save me. I moved on, I try to look at you with friendly eyes, but every time I do, all I see are the eyes of rejection and lost hope. It's my fault too, ya know. I'm just not that like able and that's all there is to it. But you are, you care, you're handsome, and you make people, especially me, laugh. That's a lot more than I bring to the table. Everyone's always out to save themselves from the bull shit they got themselves into, but I thought you were different, I thought you were better. Every person I like has a reason for being liked. You diminished those feelings the second my friend told me about your remarks about "us". I used to dream of the day when I would finally have my first kiss, now all I dream about is how not to be hurt by the people in my life. It's more of an escape room of my brain. My thoughts are the clues, which suck because they're all over the place, but, ya know, there may be a scavenger hunt in there, telling me who and what to avoid, so I can't and won't get hurt by people or my choices. Its too late to save me, but maybe I'll try to save everyone you come near, telling them, "STAY AWAY! DANGER DANGER DANGER!" Maybe I should have followed that advice, but it's too late now anyway.