early in the morning • zayn malik

→ beauty never fades ←

→ beauty never fades ←

It had been a trip that Zayn had been putting off for a while now. He could barely bring himself to leave the town, but after countless nights he knew that it was time. Harry had left a couple of days after he had see Bryony for the second time, though promised Zayn that he would come back soon, like he always did.

The highway was blissfully empty, but that only meant that his destination was coming towards him faster than he would be able to fathom. Zayn pulled in a shaky breath, wishing that he had someone to keep him company on the ride there, but he could never ask anyone to do that for him.

No, that would be too cruel.

The grey complex came up in front of him, a chain-link fence surrounding the property, making a shudder go through Zayn, a shudder filled with both fear and a tinge of disgust. The people that stayed here, what they had done-

He stopped the car in front of the boom gates, a man sitting in the little office watching him with wary eyes. Zayn pulled the pass out, and rolling down the window showed it to the guard. “Visitor for Perrie Edwards.”

A flash of pity crossed his face. “I’ll tell them you’re coming.”

The gates opened, and Zayn drove in, parking as close to the entrance as possible. He closed his eyes and leant his head against the steering wheel, feeling bile coming up his throat. He quickly opened the door, and let the contents of stomach spill over the gravelled road.

“God help me.” He whispered to himself, shakily getting out of the car, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

The entrance was plain: chilling white lights only made the cream walls look even sadder, and Zayn wondered why white lights were used. Even after being in the building for only a measly minute, a sense of wretchedness was settling on his shoulders like a heavy cloak, slowing his footsteps.

The receptionist was a thin-eyed man, who typed at his computer furiously. His eyes flickered over to Zayn, who was standing there awkwardly, fighting the urges to vomit again. Only twice had Zayn been to this cursed place, and both of the times ended with Zayn in tears.

“Pass please.” The receptionist said curtly, finally stopping his typing.

Zayn grabbed the slightly bent pass out of his pocket, showing it clearly to the receptionist. His eyes widened a little as he looked at the pass, but the look of surprise disappeared quickly, replaced with a mask of professionalism.

“I’ll call Doctor Ballard; he’ll be with you in a moment.” The receptionist said, already reaching for the phone at his desk, dialling a number.

Zayn nodded, and sat down on a plastic chair, which was nailed to the ground. He slipped the pass back into his pocket, and tried not to think too hard about Perrie, about what she would be like. The first time had been the worst, with her usually perfect face lined and gaunt. The tips of her fingers had been tinged yellow, indicating that she had taken up the horrible habit that she had chastised him so often about.

A door opened to his left, and the familiar face of Doctor Ballard came out, his dark grey hair smoothed back, his physique and personality trim and brusque. He saw Zayn and managed to give him a pained grimace, making Zayn feel sick.

She had gotten worse, he could feel it.

“Mr. Malik.” Doctor Ballard said, shaking his hand.

“Doctor Ballard.” Zayn said, still weak from vomiting before.

“I honestly thought that you wouldn’t come back here again. Most people don’t.” Doctor Ballard said, looking at him thoughtfully as they started to walk through the door in which he came from.

“I owe it to her. No one else will come.” Zayn said quietly, knowing that he didn’t owe Perrie anything.

“Do you blame them?” Doctor Ballard said, sighing. “I’ll give you fifteen minutes with her.”

Zayn nodded, not wanting to speak. It would be hard enough to say something to Perrie, with her cold, bright blue eyes staring at him. He shivered at the thought, and almost thought of backing out, of just going home.

Doctor Ballard opened the door to the visitor’s room, which consisted of the room being split in half by a large plastic wall, like in prisons. Zayn’s throat went dry as he saw Perrie sitting at the desk to the far left, constantly running her hands through her thin, bleached hair.

“Fifteen minutes.” Doctor Ballard repeated, before closing the door with a menacing thud.

He could barely walk, but managed to get to the place where Perrie was sitting, plastic being the only thing separating them. Perrie was watching him with a wide, manic smile on her face, one hand pressed against the plastic, the other curled around the phone which was pressed to her ear.

Zayn slowly picked up his phone, putting it to his ear with shaky hands, and then he placed one of his own hands against the plastic, trying not to cry.

“Zayn, you’re here, I’m so happy, happy, happy.” She said, some tears leaking out of her eyes, running quickly down her insipid face. She didn’t bother to wipe them, not moving her hand from the plastic.

“How are you doing?” Zayn whispered, and her smile grew as he talked, her body leaning towards him almost involuntarily.

“The doctors say I’ve been doing real good.” She whispered fervently, nodding to emphasise her point. “I think that they’ll let me out soon, they’ll let me out soon.”

Zayn swallowed, forcing a small smile on his face. “You look better.”

“We can be together soon.” She said. “They won’t separate us again. We’ll be together forever.”

“Forever.” Zayn agreed, hating the lies that were slipping from his chapped lips. Pain was starting to grow in his chest, and he wished that Doctor Ballard would come in and tell him that the time was up, because he couldn’t deal with seeing her like this, so broken.

“Everyone says I’m the most beautiful person here.” Perrie said, her eyes widening a little, and her lips beginning to tremble. “Do you think I’m the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful?”

Your beauty never fades, my love, Zayn thought to himself, tears starting to build in his eyes.

“Of course, Perrie.” He said, his voice filled with love and pain. “Of course.”

And his third visit to see Perrie Edwards ended with Zayn walking out of the visitor’s room, and bursting into heart-breaking sobs, body crumpled on the floor, unable to get Perrie’s too-wide smile out of his head.

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oh my god I am so happy that I've finally updated, sorry for the long wait.

dedication goes to @universinq for her super lovely comment on the last chapter (ily heaps)

I'll try and update more often, aren't many more chapters to go (it's going to be ten chapters long :D)

Sara xx