Squirrel Patrol: Thousand-Yard Stare

Leading From the Rear

"But, what about the Corporal and Bushy?", Nibble shouted, almost a squeal. "We've been back for over a week and they're still out there! While you (i) officers sit around back here making super-secret plans!"

Lt. Itchy, standing in front of a briefing board, shouted right back. "You're out of line, private!" He managed to share his outraged look between the private and Sgt. Nuts equally. Nuts was about to play the peacemaker when the major spoke up.

"Now lieutenant, don't go berating the boy for having honest feelings.", he said with a slow drawl, befitting an older possum of his rank. "But, son", the possum shuffled closer to where Nibble sat, "as much as I'd like to send you out to rescue your friends, I've got to think of the needs of this army, too."

The major squatted down to be at eye level with Nibble. "We have your report of your comrade's capture. We've alerted all of our patrols to be on the lookout for prisoners - not just your two, but others as well.", he paused, letting his words sink in. "But, keep in mind, getting the information from this recon could prevent even more of our troops from being captured - or worse." 

Nibble managed to keep his composure as he answered with a simple 'yes sir'. Nuts, meanwhile, was waiting his turn to speak to the major. "Major Branch, sir,", he said respectfully, but with an undertone of urgency, "begging your pardon, but my patrol is short two squirrels, and", he gestured towards the lieutenant, "the lieutenant - I'm sorry sir, but it has to be said - doesn't have much experience in the field." 

The lieutenant's whiskers were twitching with anger when he burst out, "I can hold my own against any squirrel in this army! I can...", his rage was cut short again by the major.

"Itchy, calm down! He's not the enemy!" The major waddled over between the two leaders. Looking more at Nuts than Lt. Itchy, he continued. "Sergeant, I appreciate your concern. If I could simply send you and your squirrels, I would. But the lieutenant has knowledge of the needs of the command echelon. You, Sergeant, have the field skills. And I trust you both have the common sense to follow the other when appropriate." This last sentence was directed more towards the lieutenant.

"Is there anything else you honorable squirrels wish to discuss?", the major said pleasantly. "Anyone else?", he directed his words to the rest of the patrol. The team attempted to wish themselves invisible, rather than meet the possums' beady gaze.

"Right! Back to the map then." Major Branch turned away from the group to look at a crudely drawn map, charcoal lines on an overly large maple leaf, suspended between two twigs. "As I was about to say, Intelligence has received..."

With the squirrels attention facing towards the major, no one saw the female mink enter the rear of the tent. As she walked down the center aisle, the patrol members first caught her scent, then saw her exquisite chocolate colored fur. Nibble fell off of his seat as she passed, knocking into the other seats across the aisle.

"Could you pups knock it...", Branch shouted as he faced his troops. On seeing the mink, he abruptly halted his tirade. "Ah. Ahem. Sorry about that Lieutenant Fern. I thought it best to start without you, and let you fill in the details later."

"Oh, no sir! It's entirely my fault. I got to the showers late, and while I was in there, the water ran out. It was just one thing after another." She gave the major a cute, apologetic smile. 

The major, not unaffected by the mink's beauty, had not replied before the privates - collectively envisioning the mink in the shower - began making assorted groans and whimpering noises.

Lt. Itchy, dazed like the others, shook out of his reverie by this gross display of impropriety. "You insolent bunch of maggots! How dare you insult an officer like that!" His face changed color as his temper took hold. He raised his arm, pointing at the squirrels. "Consider yourselves on report!" Before he could continue his rant, the major interjected again.

"At ease, Lieutenant. I don't think they mean any disrespect. Please reconsider." Then, in a stern tone to Nuts, "Sergeant, your squirrels, please?"

Nuts knew an order when he heard it, no matter how politely worded. Calling his troops to attention, he said, "Jazz, speak for the rest of us." Jazz was the most eloquent of the bunch, and he didn't want to engage with Fern at this point. He knew that would come later. Also, Nuts wasn't sure if he could manage a coherent apology from his own mouth.

"Begging your pardon, ma'am. And you fellow officers, too. We regret and apologize for our inexcusable outburst, and humbly hope you can see past our indiscretion." Jazz looked down at the ground, as did the rest. Nuts remained at attention, ready to accept any more flak for his patrol. Thankfully, the major wanted to get on with business.

"Thank you, private. Is that acceptable to you Itchy?" Itchy nodded somewhat sullenly. "Anyway,", the major continued, "...oh! That's right, you haven't been properly introduced. Lt. Fern, this is Lt. Itchy and this is...", gesturing to Nuts.

"Sergeant Nuts.", Fern said pleasantly. As she moved to the front of the room, the tip of her tail casually brushed against his shoulder, lingering a noticeable bit. To most observers, that's all it was - casual. Except for Nuts, who stiffened a little more. And Itchy, who jealously noted the lingering.

The major regained his bearing and continued, "Oh, good, good. You're already acquainted then." He had seen the interaction between the three, but decided it wouldn't be best inquire any further. There was business to get done and he couldn't worry about fraternization. "Well, now that you're here miss, you can give them the full brief." With that statement, he moved to a position off to the right of the leaf, more observer than participant.

Fern turned around at the map, her tail swishing innocently but seductively. All eyes were on her, except for Jazz, who closed his and was mouthing some words to himself. 

"Thank you, major. Now gentlemen, according to some of our scouts, the avian horde has been withdrawing from a number of locations,", she pointed to three marks on the map, "here, here, and here. Now, there was no logical reason for them to do that. Our forces,", she gestured to a swath along the left side, "had them contained, if not actually on the defensive. Likewise, we weren't in any serious danger. A stalemate."

Scratcher, slouching across a stump said, "More power to them, lieutenant. Let 'em fly back to where they came from. And pray from a hailstorm while they're flying." He gave a grin towards Roadkill, who bumped paws with him.

"Well private, while I'm sure everyone shares your sentiment, nobody does things without a reason." Fern shifted position so she could point at the top of the map. "This area up here, right on the edge of the great water, is where command believes the avians are converging." She paused, looking downcast. "Unfortunately, we're basing this theory on a third hand scouting report."

Nuts sat up straight at the mention of this. "Whoa! Wait a minute, Lieutenant. Third hand? I can get better intel standing outside the latrines." He darted looks between the three officers. "Besides, as I told Lt. Itchy - and Nibble said to the major, we need to track down what happened to Corporal Berries and Private Bushy."

"Sgt. Nuts, as I said before...", Major Branch started, before being cut off by Fern. "Sergeant,", she began coldly, "the reason for the information being third hand is because the first scout died while relaying it to the next. That scout died shortly after I debriefed him."

Nuts felt that he had to give it one more try, for Bushy and Berries' sake, even though he knew he was getting Fern's fur ruffled. "Lieutenant, I can respect the circumstances in getting the intel - shoot - if it were me delivering it, I'd expect everyone to believe it. But I feel that all this will be, is a wild bird chase."

Fern stepped down and walked up to Nuts, her eyes becoming more soft. "Normally Nuts, I would agree somewhat with your assessment. But, this time, I can put a lot of belief into the second scout's report."

"Why's that?"

"That scout was my little brother, Nightshade."