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JACE'S POV

I took a deep breath. Hindi na kami nag-uusap, it's been three days! And I sincerely miss her.

Don't get me wrong, but I like Clary, I really do. Kung ano man ang mukha niya behind Seulgi, wala na akong pake. Basta...gusto ko siya.

And it hurted my ego na pinagttripan lang niya ang feelings ko sa kanya, hindi naman kasi porke't gusto ko siya, kailangan na niyang paglaruan ang feelings ko.

Which I thought wrong.

The last time we talked wasn't pleasant. We fought, dahil akala ko, nagjojoke lang siya. Ayun pala, umamin na. Kaya ayun, sumabog na lang bigla lahat ng kinikimkim.

I was wrong, for not trusting her. For not doing the thing she told me. For doubting her.

And fuck this, my guilt is eating me up alive.

If I did not doubt her feelings, nililigawan ko na sana siya ngayon. Or more like, kami na.

I heaved a sigh.

Naguguluhan na din ako.

I like Clary so much that it hurts.

Gusto ko siyang imessage. I want to message her and tell her that I miss her, that I long for her. I wanted to hug her, kiss her. But I couldn't, because of this damn pride.

"Sige. Hayaan mong manalo 'yang pride mo. Tanga ka rin, e. Gusto ka na, doon mo pa pinakawalan. As the day passes, Jace, nawawala siya sayo, hindi mo ba alam? She's fucking drifting away from you! The girl you like! Love isn't enough kung walang tiwala, at kung hindi mo 'yun kayang pangatawanan, then just leave her alone and let her move on," a friend told me last night.

"But Jace..."

"Your secret? Sabihin mo 'yun sa kanya hangga't maaari. Trust is all you guys need," he continued.

But I can't. My secret—hindi ko alam kung matatanggap ba niya ako kapag sinabi ko 'yun sa kanya.