Dear D,

2-Dear A.

Dear D,
Today, I decided to write something. Anything. I need to talk. That's all.
Let's forget what we really need.
Because all I need right now, is to talk to someone.
Maybe I said that I'd be writing you daily, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to tell you what happened to me everyday. It's more like I'm going to tell you the part of my story that I feel telling you.
What about the story of the day?
Let me tell you today about how empty I feel right now. I mean, how I feel this year. Lonely, useless, boring, bullied, salty... There is too much I can tell you about how bad I am. What about seeing the annoying part of this person? Be prepared for what will come next: My first real Love.

I'm not going to say a name. What about a letter? Ya, that's it. This guy will be named A. How does it feel to be 1st on someone's list, A? You hurt me more than any other person.
Every girl dreams of a happy love story. I had one. I mean, a short love story. It was happy in the beginning. For like 2 months, I thought that love was the most beautiful thing, the most beautiful feeling, the most beautiful person. I hate you as much as I hate love stories, and I want you as bad as I want to have a love story. Weird, isn't it?
Details don't matter. What matters is that you made me think that you love me. What was it? Sympathy? Empathy? Saying that you loved me as a friend, didn't you think that you destroyed me less than ignoring me? I'd prefer to be considered as a ghost than getting fake attention.
Here we go, another year, falling again for you. Smiling to me, looking at me while I don't. What the fuck is wrong with you, man? You're so sweet, friendly, cute, but that's not an excuse.

Breaking my heart.

You're a gamer, no, a player. Playing with my feelings.

When I tried to be friend with you, you gave me a little hope, and then stopped talking to me, out of nowhere. All I needed was talking to you. No more. Not even a hand shake. Just talking to you, just on Facebook, if you can't keep looking at my disgusting face for more than 2 seconds.
But who thought that my ugliness would be the reason why A started hating me more? I didn't expect that, to be very honest.
________
I've been annoying him from the beggining of the year. From the first day of school, my first day as a highschool student. I felt like he was upset when he saw me again, with my messy curly hair, and my brother's T-shirt of Metallica. I was with my friend. I was laughing so hard, just how a pretencious girl would laugh. I felt it, I read it in his head, the "Oh no, her again. Am I going to see her for the 2 next years?".

Just to tell you, he is one class older, and two years older. So, I can understand why he doesn't like me, nor support me.

For more than 8 months, I've been annoying him. I'll say it over and over. I hate myself because of that. I wanted to talk to him, to be his friend, to be next to him, to see him, to understand him, to know him, to help him. Most of all, to admire him. Now you're bored of me, and you let your friends insult me for not being "sexy" and "beautiful" while you're sitting and watching them. Not even giving a fuck. You left me.

What if, in the end, it was my fault?

It is. For all the possible cases, it's my fault. But now, I wonder if I made you get over me, in case you "really" did love me. I know that I keep telling you about the guy I "like" at the moment. I don't want advices, I just want to tell you that we can be friends, that if you are not interested in me, then there will be no love between us.
And what have you done?
Maybe you took it as the "lemme get over ya too" by posting some stuff about your actual crush, ignoring my advices in the comment section, removing my replies, telling clearly that she can't be me, by saying "I don't have her in my friendlist".
You know what?
I'll remove you from my friendlist. From now on, I'll remove you from my life. There is no A anymore. I'm writing this, because I'm sure no one will be hearing that.

I can't live seeing you treating someone else the way you used to treat me.

But, dear D, our A won't read this. For the only and simple reason that is: I won't be talking to A anymore, and I'll try to do it. Even if he is the only one I like, and I love. I don't like any other guy. No one. I'll keep loving you, but, just so you know, I don't want to talk to you. Your voice is so damn perfect, and I don't want to fall again for you, especially by hearing that "innocent" voice.

I hope you'll be happy in your life, with your friends. I wish you good luck with your studies.
I love you.

Sorry, D. But that's what love obliged me to do.

Dear D, what would you do for the person you truly love?