she laid in her bed thinking.
This time really thinking. Not that thing she does where she daydreams and acts out scenes in her head... This time she was really thinking.
It was on days like this she was sure life was better for the dead... It wasn't just something people say when life got to them...this time She really believed it... Life was better for the dead. The irony.
She lay there listening to the early morning sounds. Her neighbor's very noisy generator. The crying child from the adjascent building. The black fumes slowly sneaking through her window...she thought and thought.
She lay there completely drained. Lifeless. useless.
She liked the emptiness. She really liked this emptiness she was feeling.
Today wasn't like other days... Today, she wasn't going to drag herself out of bed. She wasn't going to struggle through her day smiling even though all she wanted to do was curl up away from everyone and everything.
Today she wasn't going to put a happy face on sorrow... No. she let it envelope her and it was blissful... A sad sort of blissful but blissful.
She lay there thinking....
Today she wasn't going to pursue happiness...
