Need Someone | [Complete]

Chapter 11: High Times

A/N: The following chapter contains mature themes including steamy content and drug use. While cannabis products are legalized for medical and recreational use in the state of California, it is important to note that it is not legalized federally at the time of this story. 

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Ever since our conversation, I had reevaluated my relationships. I wasn't a loner by any stretch. Rather, I worried I had overcorrected in the other direction. Every night I went home, I wanted to cry. Rebecca and I talked nearly every night, but she was so busy with work and too preoccupied with the status of my plans for her engagement part that we barely talked about anything else. Without her, I had no one to laugh with, no idle conversation to fill the silence, no one taking up space on the couch beside me. I was alone and I hated it.

Even a brief stint on dating apps left me exhausted. I was too tired to deal with the empty conversations, the ruse of being interested in what someone was cooking for dinner when all they really wanted to do was meet up for sex. I considered it on a couple of occasions, but it took too much effort to pick a location that felt safe enough to entertain a stranger. So, I sat alone in my half-empty apartment, waiting to go back to work. Waiting to go back to hang out with Ziggy.

In the meantime, week three of his treatment came and went.

It was hard on him with the rounds of chemo being so strong and so frequent. Though he came in stronger than most cancer patients, he seemed to have a lower tolerance for the aftereffects. His nausea had become crippling. He had already lost a considerable amount of weight, even with starting so fit. His face was beginning to look gaunt, his eyes sunken.

The past few days had been incredibly difficult. His schedule seemed to be chemo, sleep, vomit, repeat. His mood was grim and he had lost all interest in everything. He stopped working, stopped listening to music, started avoiding other distractions. I could tell he was losing morale, but that was exactly why I was here.

I walked into his room. The lights were off, so I assumed he was sleeping, but I found him lying in bed, staring at the wall. "Ziggy?" He turned and looked at me with no emotion. "What's up with you?"

"Not much, just dying." There was no humor behind his voice.

I sighed. "You know better than to talk like that with me." He did not look amused. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"Not really. Even if I could suddenly convince you to pity fuck me, I couldn't get it up to save my life." He shook his head with a look of disappointment.

"Come on, Ziggy. You have to perk up. You'll be done soon."

"Three more weeks, then a surgery that will kill me. If I'm not dead before then."

I grew angry. "Stop it." He looked so upset, and it broke my heart. "We have to go downstairs, Zig. What can I do to put you in a better mood?"

"Leave me alone to die."

"Sorry, but no. If that's really what you wanted, you should have fired me a long time ago." He didn't even crack a smile. I groaned in frustration. "Get up."

"No."

"I gave you a chance to come willingly and you didn't take it, so now I'm going to force you. Get. Up."

I stripped the blankets from him and pulled him to sit up. He rolled his eyes with a huff. "You know, you can be a real bitch sometimes."

"Yeah, well you're a chauvinistic asshole. We make a great team." I finally managed to get a laugh from him as I helped him into the chair.