Tainted Scars

Chapter Six

With each passing day, she had grown out of her childish ways. She grew older, stronger, more responsible and intelligent. And she no longer was the stubborn seven year old that hated the world. With each passing day, she found more and more reasons to live. Her days grew more enjoyable and she came to be thankful, in a way, for all that she had lost. Because if she hadn't, she probably would never had meant Kaleb, Seraphina, or Xander. She made herself believe that if she had stayed in Cerynth, she would live without a purpose, and would exist and die like every other passionless citizen that lived in that city, even if it meant that she could spend another moment with her father. Even then, that one moment was wishful thinking. It would not last for long.

Despite the fact that she wished he was here with her now, It was often because of her own father that she felt miserable nowadays, though she never blamed him for it. It wasn't his fault. None of this was ever was his fault. Because although she changed throughout the course of ten years, her nightmares never left her. They haunted her dreams during every night, and sometimes the worst of them stayed with her throughout the day, filling her mind with images of bloodied corpses. More than once she would see her father among the sea of unfamiliar faces. But she only had to see him once for her to have the urge to hurl her guts up. Though she actually did, she would still wake with sweat coating her back. At least she didn't scream anymore. The screaming would've driven Seraphina mad with worry and getting her mentor involved with her problems was the last thing Leyna wanted.

And so, just like every other day, she woke up with images of blood-splattered stones still fresh on her mind. And also like every other day, she would try to clear her mind by starting the day's tasks early in the morning. Or as early as she thought it was, for it was hard to tell when you couldn't see the sun rise or set.

The rest of her day consisted of packing and helping Sera finish some last minute duties. Over the years, her mentor and friend had grown too old to do most of the things that she used to. So it was often Leyna's job to carry out most of the tasks. It was because of this that Leyna had second thoughts on leaving. She had been selfish when she agreed to go without thinking it through. And now she would be leaving the elderly woman by herself to tend to the dozens of patients that was sure to come through. Not to mention it was nearing the end of the year, which meant the trainees were about to endure the toughest and most dangerous drills to test their progress and whether they were "worthy of war."

Seraphina needed all the help she could get, and the few servants that lived on the island knew close to nothing about how to splint broken bones or how to properly bandage gaping wounds.

Leyna, on the other hand, had learned more from Seraphina in her ten years than most could in twenty. It was always her job to help, and now that she was leaving for a trip...she wouldn't be able to. Useless. She was useless and selfish for going.

"If you're thinking about staying here, don't bother," Sera said, appearing at the doorway of her room with her hands on her hips, breaking Leyna out of her self-deprecating thoughts, "You should go and take a break for once. You need it."

"And you need my help," Leyna said in response, getting up from where she had been sitting on her bed. Her bag lay on the bed, waiting to be taken away.

"And you will be helping me by going," she said, handing Leyna a folded paper containing a long list of ingredients, "Consider your journey to be an errand of sorts."

She had wanted to go in the first place. All she needed was Seraphina's confirmation that she would be alright on her own. Though she tried to contain her eagerness to go, so that Seraphina didn't think she was happy to get away.

When Leyna didn't seem like she would say anything else, Seraphina excused herself, giving Leyna a short embrace and farewell before leaving. Leyna looked through the list, and started mentally categorizing each item into a different groups. She did it more out of habit than anything else. Though it did help keep her mind distracted from the anticipation of leaving the island for the first time. It was either that or she would be pacing back and forth until someone came to pick her up. When she had just about memorized the entire a list, a knock came at her door.