Dysphoria or Ephoria

Chapter 2: And We're Off

“Thanks for driving me to the train station,” I thank Courtland.

“It’s no problemo, Lu.” Courtland turns his head toward me and smiles for a short moment before his head whips back to face the open road.

The car ride to the station is quiet to say the least. Awkward? I wouldn’t say so. It’s quiet, no doubt about that. But I know that we’re comfortable with it. I’m not in the best mood at the moment. Before Courtland came to pick me up at my house, I was anything but jolly about my departure. I tried stalling as much as possible -  not packing, being especially nice to my mother, spending as much time as possible outside of the house - to try to persuade my mother to let me stay home. But, just yesterday, my mother yelled at me that my leaving was going to happen whether I liked it or not and to go pack. So, yes, I hadn’t packed until yesterday. I threw random clothes in my suitcase angrily. This morning, I made sure to not forget and to sneak in my laptop too. When Courtland got to my place, my mood immediately brightened, like it always does when i see him. It didn’t brighten me up by much. Nevertheless, I always become happier when he came around. So here I sit in the car next to my best friend with the slightest smile lingering on my face, which never leaves when I’m with him.

“I’m surprised the guys didn’t really care that you were gonna be gone for so long,” Courtland pipes in to break the silence.

“It’s not that they didn’t care,” I correct him, “they just had plans too.”

“Pff, whatever. I’m just sad that now I won’t really have anyone to hang out with this summer. Since grade two, it’s been you and me every summer.” he shakes his head at the thought and mumbles a small damn under his breath.

“I know,” I agree with him. “It’s gonna be so weird spending the first summer in nine years separated.” Is it just me or do I feel a stinging in the back of my eyes. I try blinking away the odd sensation, but it just lingers.

“What about Warped? That’s, like, in mid July. You’ll be gone then.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologize in a whisper. I feel so bad for ruining his summer. Why did mom have to do this, not to me. But to Court? I feel  as if I look at him, I might just see how mad or sad he is and start crying. I don’t like crying and hate letting Court seeing me do so. So I just focus on the view zooming by on the other side of my window.

Courtland sighs. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”  

“It’s my moms,” I mumble angrily to myself. I’m sure Court heard it, based on his laughing. Hearing his soft voice roll in small laughter makes me laugh with him. Happiness really is contagious.

The too short of a car ride comes to an end when Courtland’s ratty old Accord stops in the train station parking lot. We get out and walk through the building doors. We walk silently through the station and back outside, where I await my ride. We spot a bench by the rails and sit down. I drop my bags down on the pavement with a thud and an agitated groan.

“What time is your train at?” Courtland asks me as he fidgets in his seat, shaking his legs. I sigh at his constant habit and at his question, my breath having a mixture of sadness and amusement.

He never could sit still for no more than a few seconds. I find it funny, always seeing him either playing around with his hands or shaking his leg.

I pick up one of my bags and plop it down on my lap. I open the front pocket of my backpack and get out the little envelope that held my ticket. I take out my ticket and through the jumble of letters and numbers on the paper, I read with an exasperated sigh, “eight forty-five PM.”  I shove the papers back into my bag and shove it off my lap. I cross my arms like an angry child. Reading that surely didn’t put a smile on my face. More than anything, it just makes me feel sadder.

Courtland chuckles at me then ruffles my hair. I laugh as well, seeing that his laughter is anything but infectious when I’m in a bad mood. Court pulls out his cell then mumbles in a small sad voice, “it’s eight forty already...” I groan then cross my arms even tighter over my chest and let the previous scowl slither back on my face.

“Not too stoked for the babysitting gig?” Courtland tries to make small talk as we wait. I groan again at the reminder.

“It’s not babysitting... It’s camp counseling... and I’m nowhere close to being happy about doing this...” I slouch into the bench, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

“Will you have internet?” Court asks me, slight desperation in his tone. I shrug and cross my fingers in my head that I will have web connection while I’m gone.

All too soon, a loud roaring sound is heard through the area as the ground starts shaking intensely. The train approaches then comes to a stop in front of me. The doors open and a river of people flow out. Just as the last few people exit the cart, I get up and throw my bags over my shoulders.

“I guess I’ll see you in a month or so,” I murmur my goodbyes. I keep my eyes glued to the ground, but manage to force on a small fake smile. I desperately want to give my best friend a hug. But I know he gets sort of uncomfortable when I do, so I just shift from foot to foot, waiting for him to say his goodbyes to me.

“You can give me hug, Lucifer,” he says with a hint of laughter to his tone. I look up from the ground and see his arms open and a smug grin on his face. A smile instantly washes over my features as I throw my arms around him tightly.

“See you soon, buddy,” Court whispers, “I’ll miss you.” I whisper it back with ease. Hearing him say that just makes me want to smuggle him with me. I mean, I already thought of doing that. But this makes me want to do it more!

We back away from each other and smile our last goodbye. Right when I’m about to turn around and walk to my train, Court catches me by the shoulder and spins me back around.

“Wait, I almost forgot something.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small object. He takes my hand in his a places and the small hunk of what felt like plastic into my palm. He smiles his regular grin that I have always enjoyed seeing since grade two. With his eyes, he tells me to look down at the thing. I do and realise that it’s some sort of USB key.

“Movies?” I guess, not too sure what the use of the USB key would be while I’m gone.

Courtland shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “You really aren’t much of a technology person, eh?” he teases me. I’m never really one to ogle gadgets. I’m a simple guy. Hand me my bass guitar, paper, a pen and I’ll be well off. Hand me a good book too. That would make me super happy. “It’s an rocket key for wireless internet, so we can talk on skype. You know me, I prefer facetime than texting. I have three, so I thought my mom wouldn’t really notice if one randomly went missing...” We laugh before I’m overwhelmed with gratefulness and hug him really tight again.

“Thank you, Courtland.”

“No prob. I expect to be seeing you online now, ight?” he says as we back away from the hug. I nod my head and smile largely.

I would be joyed if this moment could as long as possible, but it seems like as long as possible means only for another few seconds. The train honks its horn, telling passengers to get on soon since its leaving.

“I gotta go, Courtland. Thanks again for the key!” I scream to him as I move closer to the train.

Before I enter, we wave to each other. I quickly try to find a seat nearest to where Courtland stands. When I find the perfect window spot, I put my stuff in the overhead compartment and sit down just in time to wave and smile to my best friend one last time before the train starts chugging along. Very quickly, the view of that brown haired boy is far behind. But I’m just happy that our farewell was a lot happier than expected. I sigh to myself as I realise that now I have to ride the train with this goofy smile on my face... All because it was my best friend that put it there.