13 reasons why

Tape 1 Side: A

Than Gravity" playing] [recording] Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker. There's not a simple explanation For the things that I feel That's right. Don't adjust your whatever device you're hearing this on. There's no one word To tell you why I do the things It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. I can't love you I'm too scared to It's not a trick that's up my sleeve It's just the heart inside me And I spend so much time fighting The man that I - She was so pretty. - Totally. - What is it again? - #NeverForget. [bell rings] To think what I can't say out loud What the hell are you doing? Nothing. I'm just Looking for something? What would I be looking for? You tell me. Do you even know my name? - [scoffs] 'Course I do, Clay. - Guys. Second bell. You're not that innocent, Jensen. I don't give a shit what she says. Mr. Foley, let's go. Get to homeroom. You too, Mr. Jensen. [woman] So, there are a number of ways to get help if you need it, or if a friend does, okay? And all of this information is on the board outside of my room or outside of the main office. It's on the Liberty High home page. Ms. Bradley, is it possible we could be done with all this? I mean, it's been over a week. Isn't it healthy to, like, move on? [disgusted murmurs] Okay, everyone, thank you. Seriously, I know, it's tragic, but I don't want to keep being reminded all the time. It's depressing. We're never done with it, Mr. Pratters, which is why it's important to know the signs that someone you care for might need help. [voice fades to echo] I mean, are they withdrawing from friends and family? Is there a change in their appearance? Are they having trouble in [Mrs. Bradley] The group collaboration project is worth one-fifth - of your semester grade total, so - [bell rings] Okay, so, please be committed and constant and fair to each other. I like the hair. The short hair. Um I liked the long hair, too. And, um, I realize this makes me seem wishy-washy, and I should have said something the other night, and in truth I don't actually like change, but this change seems cool. Thanks, Clay. [Mrs. Bradley] Clay? Clay. [clears throat] Clay. - Yeah, sorry, what? - [students chuckle] Are you with us? Yeah, no, I am, I'm with you. [Mrs. Bradley] So, between now and then, observe yourself. Bring in information. The students did this on their own. We thought it just best to leave it. I see. I'm sorry, um Let me try this again. You'd think there'd be a master key or something. Yeah, there was, once. [Mrs. Baker] She doesn't have any stickers or pictures inside. Why doesn't she have any stickers? - Honey, it's just a locker. - No, it's Hannah's locker. Why is it like that? Ma'am, I really don't know. This is everything, then? Yes. I mean, we can go through the rest in my office. That way I can return the textbook. We just need anything personal. The lawyer said bring everything. [Mr. Baker] Lawyers say a lot of things. [girls laughing, chattering outside] - [camera shutter clicks] - [door shuts] Oh. Hey, Clay. Hey, Tyler. [distant whistle blowing] What? Nothing. [camera shutter clicks] [boy] No, no, Mom, it's a stupid school e-mail. You do not need to come ho Uh, hey, hold on. What the fuck are you doing? [Tyler] Nothing. Just yearbook stuff. Get out, dude. Hey, sorry. Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Everything's fine here. Just stay in Aspen. Yes, I am sure, Mother, 100 percent sure. Put Dad on the phone. Clay. How are you doing, sweetie? You've been on my mind. Hey, Courtney. I have? Well, I just feel like we all need to be there for each other at a time like this, you know? Sure. It's all just so sad. It just doesn't make sense, right? No. But, um a lot of things don't make sense. Exactly. So true. Some things, you know, just don't have simple explanations, right? Right. Yeah. I'm glad we got to talk. Bye. Yeah, good talk. [boy] Hey, Clay. You want a ride home? Yeah, sure. No bike today? Uh, no, Mom wanted to drive me, and, you know, talk about things. Oh. [engine starts] Can I play you a tape? Yeah, of course. You're still on the old media, huh? - Uh, it's so much better. - ["Love Will Tear Us Apart" playing] Everything was better before. You said it, son. You cry out in your sleep All my failings exposed And there's a taste in my mouth As desperation takes hold Is it something so good - Just can't function no more - [song fades] Like so. Now, if they ask you if it's real butter, what do you say? It's a butter-based product. And smile when you say it. I know, terrifying. But it sells the big lie. Oh, and, uh, little trade secret: If they're cute, only put butter on the top so they have to come back for more during the movie. Okay, uh, why? So you can chat 'em up. Oh, chat's not really my thing. I like it. I think we're gonna get along. As long as you remember I started here three weeks before you, so I have seniority, which is why I'm training you. Which is insane if you think about it, because I just moved here two months ago and I have no idea what I'm doing. I think it's going well. Do you like it? Here? At the Crestmont? I find the various smells fascinating. No, this town. Oh, right. Uh I don't have anything to compare it to. I've lived here all my life. It's like asking Han Solo "How is space?" Wow! You're an actual nerd, aren't you? I admire that. There's courage in being a nerd. [car horn honking] [song continues] Catch you later. [mellow jazz playing] Dad, where's your radio thing? "My radio thing"? That thing you play CDs on when you're painting or working in the yard or whatever. My boom box. That really what they're called? They were. I believe now they're called obsolete. Uh, yeah, it's in the workshop. It plays tapes, right? It does, last I checked. How were things at school today? Same. Everyone's still acting weird. And you? Um How are you doing? Me? I'm fine. I'm good. So, can I I can use the boom box? Yes, of course. The boom box. Go. But keep in touch. Okay? Sure thing, Dad. Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker. Holy shit. Don't adjust your whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why. I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise. Anyway, the rules here are pretty simple. - There are only two. - Whatcha doing? - Jesus! - Sorry. What have we said about helicopter parenting? I didn't mean to scare you. You were just lost in what is that you're listening to? It's, uh it's nothing. It's for history class. - Cassettes are history now? - Mm-hm. Hm! Of course they are. Can I listen? No, uh, it's dumb. I'm gonna head up to my room. Homework. Clay, school emailed again today. Which explains why Dad showed interest in my life. You two are dangerous when you coordinate. You know I hate being the kind of parent who asks if you want to talk about anything, but if you want to talk about anything I didn't really know her, Mom. Didn't you two work together at the Crestmont? - Yeah, for a little while - But you didn't know her very well? Not really. I need to get to work - Shit! - Language. I'm sorry. I gotta I gotta go work. This thing is due in two days, so I gotta go. Clay. Slow down, hon. It's just homework. Yeah. Thanks, Mom. What the hell? [grunts] Shit. [sighs] I have to go to Tony's. Hold on, Tony's? Now? He needs one of the tapes. We're working together. Dinner's in a half hour. Make me a plate for later? Text me if you're gonna be later than really late. - I will. Bye. - Bye. [children chattering] [horn honking] Hand me the screwdriver. Okay. - Hey, Tony. - Hey, Clay. - Something wrong with her? - Nothing wrong yet. It's called taking care of things. - Dad, you remember Clay. - Yeah, sure. How you doing, Clay? I'm well, thank you. So, Clay, what's up? Nothing. I was, uh I was out for a ride. On the other side of town? That should do it. Start her up. - Hand me the rag. - I'll do it. If we got the timing right, we'll hear it. Okay, flip the ignition. [engine turning over] [engine revs] You hear that? That's how it should sound. - That sounds different? - Yeah, it's different. Are you deaf? [Tony] Sounds the same as before. Then you are deaf. That's so much smoother. Like night and day. [Tony responds indistinctly] [Tony's dad] I don't think so. I know, and you should too. That's why I'm showing you this. Okay, shut her off. [engine shuts off] I should get out of here. Sure you don't want to stay for dinner? No, thanks. My mom's making pork chops. If I'm not home soon, she'll call the cops or something. They emailed all the parents again. - Oh, I know. - [Tony's dad] She leave a note? Girl who killed herself? Uh I don't know. [speaks low in Spanish] Well, you listen to me. You ever do that to your mother, I will kill you, you understand? I'll kill you dead. Clean this shit up. No sense of irony in that comment. None. He's, uh He's a simple man. Yep. I'll see you later. Clay, I think you got something that belongs to me. I do? My keys. Oh, yeah, right. Here. I'll see you later. [Hannah] The rules here are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: you listen. Number two: you pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy. It's not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you're done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to the next person. Why the hell am I on this? Oh, and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can't force you to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or, you know, just throw the map away and I'll never know or will I? You see, in case you're tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn't make it through all of you, will release those copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again. I never did! - [car horn honking] - Whoa! - [honking] - [tires squeal] [tape player clatters] [tires squealing away] [grunts] [coughs] [panting] [groans softly] Oh, shit. [grunts] [Hannah] Do what I say. Not more, not less. You're being watched. Everything okay? Yeah. No, I just forgot something. Clay, your forehead! What? It's nothing. Did you fall off your bike? Low-hanging branch. I went through the woods. It was dark. I'll get the first aid kit. I don't need first aid. You are bleeding. You need ointment. Mom, please don't say "ointment. " I'm fine, really. - What happened? - I told you, bike, branch, skin. That's all? Mom, I tell you everything about my life because it is so fascinating, I promise. I'll clean it up. I have to go. Tony's waiting. Ah-ah. Your helmet, please. [Hannah] Love the helmet. It's adorable. You mean "adorable" in a helpless baby animal sort of way, I'm guessing. Aren't you afraid of helmet hair? My hair does the same thing no matter what, just sits there. You just need some product. A little effort to style it, blow-dry it in the morning. And sacrifice my masculinity? That ship has sailed, don't you think? Forgive me for wanting to keep my brains in my head. Instead of, say, some other regions, like most boys? Come on, Helmet, you've got bathrooms to clean. - You mean "we've got. " - Mm. I don't, actually. Oh, uh, party at my house tomorrow night. You're invited. It's mandatory. Don't bring the helmet. Cool. Where, uh where do you live? [Hannah] Put your finger on "C," your other finger on "4. " Bring them together. That's our first red star. I know, right? A map. Old school, again. No Google Maps, no app, no chance for the interwebs to make everything worse, like it does. [engine revs] [engine revs, tires squeal] [Hannah] You've arrived at my first house in this shitty town where I threw my first and only party and where I met Justin Foley the subject of our first tape. [rock music plays indistinctly] It was just a party. I didn't know it was the beginning of the end. - [music continues] - [overlapping chatter] Justin, you were in love with my friend Kat. My only friend. He came! Clay's here! - [chuckles] - I win! You owe me five dollars. Oh, my God. - You bet on me? - Against you. Last party I saw Clay at mm, my birthday, fourth grade. - I still remember that clown. - Mm! Oh, my God. He was a heroin addict. My mother the social worker hired a recovering heroin addict. He had the shakes. Okay, uh, drinks. Come on. Excuse me. - I just thought he was nervous. - [both chuckle] - Hey. - Hi, Kat. This is quite a turnout. People are happy to see you go. I really just threw it so Hannah could finally meet some people before I depart this realm. I met Helmet. Clay doesn't count. You met him at work. - I feel like that should count. - Of course you do. Okay, refills. Clay, what is your drink? Uh, Sprite. Oh, my God, you are priceless. You are a gem. You'll have a beer. Sure, I like beer. - [Tyler] Kat. - Oh. Picture. [shutter clicks] Stop having so much fun, Clay. I'm having fun, totally. Woot! You're too buttoned up. [laughing] Hey there. Hey. You're, um, you're the new girl. Apparently. Uh, I like your laugh. Thanks. I like your understated sense of fashion. [chuckles] Thanks. [Kat] Bryce. Better go hit the keg and catch up. You're an hour behind. I'll see you later I hope. See you. Oh, God, no. Solid no, Hannah. He is, like, frat boy Darth Vader. He didn't seem that bad. I was being kind. She kind of was. I think I want a beer too. Okay, then, Princess Leia. Oh, my God, you're both nerds. Have fun. Are you gonna tell her? Tell her what? Oh, please. I've known you this entire century. Well, give me a break. I'm not good with the you know, and the gay rumors only recently subsided. Mmm. So the stakes are high for you. It's like, around her, I can be different, you know? I'm the new and improved Clay Jensen: high school sophomore, archaeologist-slash-adventurer. Clay, sweets, you're a prize. But from my limited observation, she has terrible taste in guys. You won't say anything to her? Only if it comes up. Kat! [cell phone vibrating] [phone clicks] - Shit! - Watch it! [laughing, yelling] No [Kat] Meet the boys. Justin Foley is mine, and Zach Dempsey for you. Zach Dempsey? Really? What? Zach's sweet? I can't see! Not the mane! Okay, yeah, he's kind of dumb, but he's the sweet kind of dumb, which is the best kind. Yes. Liberty High's star athletes, ladies and gentlemen. So impressive. Sorry, boys. Can't have you in Hannah's house soaking wet. Seriously? Oh, my God, look at yourselves. Better? Improvement, for sure, but sorry, it's still a no-go. Come on! It's not a party without us. [Kat] We'll take our chances. Go dry off. Your loss, milady. Idiots. I can't even But they're sweet idiots. [Hannah] So, you see, that's where the trouble began. That smile. That damned smile. The one and only Kat moved away before the start of school. She was the kind of friend that couldn't be replaced, even by falling in love with the boy she left behind. [Justin] Hey. - Hannah, right? - Right. Justin. Foley. I saw you at the party the other night. Yeah, I saw you too. You're drier now. Yeah, well, we went home and changed. Was it profound? Huh? Your change. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. So, uh Kat's gone. Yeah. Sucks. You talk to her? Yeah. I mean, you know, like, a little. Yeah, me too. A little. I, uh, should get to class. Oh, yeah, yeah. Totally. [chuckles] So, I'll see you around, then. I guess you will. Being Kat's boyfriend was kind of the only remarkable thing about you, but, Justin, you were my Kryptonite. Zach who? [Hannah] Dempsey. Oh! Sorry, love. I'm learning all these new boy names, and I've dragged most of the old ones into the Trash icon in my head. [chuckles] Yeah. So, anyway, I know you wanted me to hook up with Zach, but But you're into Justin. - I'm evil. - No. Hardly. He's jock crack. I get it. He's all yours. No, I would never Seriously, I have moved on, times 2,000 miles, and I'm dating hipsters now. He's all yours. [Hannah] I was an office assistant third period. So I knew where you were third period. [male teacher] All right, so that's just the even numbers one through 40. You've got to show your work. Yeah, you heard me say it: Show your work. - [bell rings] - All right, dismissed. Thank you. [students chattering] Whoa! Careful, there. I'm sorry about that. Geometry with Bates. No wonder you're in a hurry. - Oh, you have him, too? - Fifth period. - The worst ten hours of my day. - [chuckles] Speaking of, gotta go. [stammers] Oh, yeah, great. Um I'll see you later? [Hannah] You will! I even decided to like basketball for you, Justin. [coach] Good job. There you go. Jensen! Clay Jensen! [coach] There you go. Move your feet! Helmet! Oh, hey. Sorry. Through here. Did you get lost on your way to the library? Oh, uh Coach Patrick assigned the game for history homework, so So, sit. Uh, yeah. Okay. You always stand and fidget. It makes me anxious. [coach] Run it again! - Tootsie Roll? - [chuckles] How can you eat those? Seriously, what does that look like to you? Like all that's good and sweet in the world. - Mm. - [chuckles] I didn't figure you for a sports person. I want to get the complete high school experience. - [buzzer sounds] - [cheering] Justin is the complete high school experience? Shut up! Don't be jealous, Clay. You'll fill out. Someday. Maybe. Is your dad also thin and nervous? Yeah, pretty much. - [both chuckle] - [whistle blows] Whoo! Yeah! Yeah. - Hey, Helmet. - Hey. Can you email me your French notes? I can't understand Madam Steinberg. It's like she's speaking German. Sure. Ride home? Thanks, but no. My chariot awaits. Bye, Clay. See you, Justin. You guys go. Whoa! No way! The bus? Yo, bus with hot girl, car with idiots? Hey, is that seat taken? You don't take the bus. I don't? Well, then, I guess it's your lucky day. You clearly don't lack confidence. You clearly don't have geometry with Mr. Bates fifth period. You did research. No. Yes, I mean I don't know, maybe. I like it. It shows initiative. So, could I like maybe get your number or something? Or something? So, I could give you my number or give you some fake nuclear launch codes? I'll just take your number. - I'll just take your phone. - Huh? One, you give me your phone, two, I put my number into it Okay, right, right, right. - [engine starts] - No excuses now. I'll be right back. Where are you going? Forgot my geometry book. Wait, I've got mine in here if you need Shit. Hey, where the hell is this thing going? No clue. I don't take the bus either. Seriously? Hannah Baker! Call me! Handsome. ["Cool Blue" playing] How can you wait In the wash of the rain? - [cell phone chimes] - You're soaked to your feet Still, you said you'd wait for me And these days, they grow so old And I'll never show I thought they knew I'm fickle and slow, and I'll never do [Mrs. Baker] Hannah. I don't want you on the phone when there's homework. I'm just using the calculator. [cell phone message alert] And helping a friend with homework. Phone. Phone! - Do I know this friend? - Do you know any of them? [cell phone vibrating] More homework? We're just working on this math problem. Hello, Justin. Hannah's doing her homework. [Justin] Oh, hi, Mrs. Baker. Yeah, she was totally just helping me with it. Oh, really? What are you working on? Uh, math. Math. Oh. All right, then. Let me know if you need my help. So, you needed help with a math problem? No. I just said that to get you alone on the phone. Because I've got homework of my own, and I can't just talk on the phone all afternoon. Okay, I can call you back. No! I I mean, uh, what problem were you having trouble with? The one about the, uh trains? The trains? Two trains leave at different times, but when do they meet? Oh! [chuckles] I get it. Um Train "A" is leaving my house in a few minutes. Train "B" is leaving your house In 30 minutes. Thirty minutes seems like an awfully long time for two trains going full speed, huh? [chuckles] Eisenhower Park. Rocket slide. Oh, my God. [laughs] I know what you're all thinking. Hannah Baker is a slut. Oops. Did you catch that? I just said "Hannah Baker is. " Can't say that anymore. [laughter] Just wait, I'm gonna get you. [shouts] [Hannah] I dreamed our first kiss would take place in the park. I never told you that. The dream starts with me at the top of the rocket holding on to the steering wheel. It's still a playground rocket, but every time I turn the wheel to the left or the right, the trees lift up like they're taking flight. [both laughing] - How was that? - That was pretty good. - Yeah, you liked it? - Yeah. [Justin] All right, your turn. - [Hannah] My turn? - Yeah. Okay. What are you doing? Wait, wait, wait, wait, I have to get this. - I'm wearing a skirt. Hang on, hang on. - [mocking] I'm wearing a skirt! I got this. Let me just And I'm scared because I don't know how to fly. But you're there at the bottom of the slide to catch me when I fall. Okay, okay. One, two, three. - Ah! [giggles] - [phone camera clicks] - You good? - Yeah. And that's all that happened. We kissed. Why? Did you hear something else? [heavy breathing] Nope. We just kissed. Sorry to disappoint you, but I guess now we're even. Sort of. [car approaching] - [engine shuts off] - [car door opens, shuts] Hey, Clay. Hey, Tony. You okay? Yeah, fine. Is that my Walkman? Uh Yeah, I was gonna ask It's no sweat. Just be careful listening while you ride, though. You don't want to hurt yourself. Again. You're right. Thanks. Eisenhower Park. That must mean you're about ready for side two. Night, Clay. Take care of yourself. [Hannah] See, I've heard so many stories about me now that I don't know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular. The truth. See, the truth isn't always the most exciting version of things, or the best or the worst. It's somewhere in between. But it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will out, like someone said once. It remains. [sighs] [button clicks] - [mellow music plays] - So, thank you, Justin. Sincerely. My very first kiss was wonderful. Porter wants to see me about Hannah. Probably about this fucking lawsuit. Did you get to first base, Justin? Get off me, I'm not saying anything. - Second? - Fuck off. Third? Okay, assholes. - A picture's worth a thousand words. - [chuckling] Public space. That's hot. Oh, yeah. We're sending that shit around. No, Bryce, stop! - [laughs] - Hey, Bryce, stop! Hey! Bryce, come on, man! [boys laughing, chattering] [bell rings] - You gonna hit that again, right? - Sure. [cell phones chiming, buzzing] Oh, my God. Seriously, Justin? Why would you send that? [cell phone chimes] - [gasps] - [bell rings] [Mrs. Bradley] Okay, everyone, settle in. - [cell phone chimes] - Today we're discussing ways to navigate difficult interactions. [cell phones continue] People, at least a nod in the direction of our No Devices rule. Okay? We are talking about ways to address conflicts with your peers, all right? How can we communicate more effectively without the use of emojis? All right, I need two volunteers for a little role-playing exercise. - [cell phones continue] - People, phones, - otherwise they're going away. - [vibrating] Last chance. Yes, Sherri. Thank you. And who else? You in the back? Yes. And Mr. Johansen. You'll be my volunteers. I'll get the scripts. Sit tight. Everybody's gonna get a turn. [Hannah] What came after my first kiss? Not so wonderful. [Mrs. Bradley] We'll continue our discussion of nonverbal signals tomorrow. So, until then, make note, be aware. [Hannah] I'm not angry you betrayed me. I'm angry that I trusted you in the first place. What the hell, Tony? Hey, Clay. What's the deal? How do you fit into all of this? I'm not on the tapes, if that's what you're asking. Did you help her do it? No, I did not. - Did you know she was going to? - No. - Then how the hell - Listen to the tapes, Clay. Is that all I'm gonna get? Hannah wanted it done like this. How do you know? I can't tell you that. You have to listen. What if I don't? What if I can't? Then it will only get worse. Trust me. Worse than Hannah being dead? I'll see you around, Clay. Tony. Am I side two? [Hannah] Hey, Helmet. Can I eat with you? Uh, I've got geometry homework. I don't mind. So, communications class. Really? Mrs. Bradley doesn't have a clue what it was like to be our age. "I find it best to confront the issue head-on by saying, "'Pardon me, but you really hurt my feelings. '" I thought she had some good ideas. Have you ever in your life been able to confront an issue head-on? Have you ever even had an issue? Yeah. Kind of. Or I guess being socially awkward has its advantages. I don't think you're socially awkward at all. I think you're just scared. I think you're waiting. Well, sometimes it's better to wait. Wow. [chuckles] Okay, meaning what? Just that, um Nothing. I mean Pardon me, but you really hurt my feelings. Hannah. Hannah. A rumor based on a kiss ruined a memory that I hoped would be special. In fact, it ruined just about everything as you'll soon see. ["Mess Is Mine" playing] And stick around, Justin. I'm not through with you yet. I know you probably didn't mean to let me down. In fact, most of you listening probably had no idea what you were truly doing, but you'll find out. Talking like we used to do It was always me and you Shaping up and shipping out Check me in and check me out Hold on, darling This body is yours - This body is yours and mine - [bell rings] Well, hold on, my darling This mess was yours Now your mess is mine [vocalizing] Your mess is mine Your mess is mine Your mess is mine [Hannah] Turn the tape over for more. ["Love Will Tear Us Apart" playing] When routine bites hard And ambitions are low And resentment rides high But emotions won't grow And we're changing our ways Taking different roads Love, love will tear us apart again Love, love will tear us apart again Why is the bedroom so cold? Turned away on your side Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives But love Love will tear us apart again Love, love will tear us apart again.