--Why does everyone blame me? Why does everyone think that I am the bad one? Why don't people care about me? Am I that bad? Am I that bad to not to care? Am I that bad to get hurt by everyone?Am I that bad that people yell at me every minute? Am I that bad that people just bully me around because they want to?
These are the questions I ask myself everyday. But you know what.... I will speak today! I will tell everyone my side of the story. I will show them that they are wrong, that they have been blaming the wrong person. I will go to school and tell them the truth, I have witnesses, I have friends that will back me up...right?
Now I'm stepping in the school... hoping that someone will notice me.... hoping that someone will see the tears under my skin. Walking....walking.... no one sees me. Its the first period, I think I should wait for the lunch so everyone will hear what I say... so that at least one person will notice me.
Now I'm at the lunchroom. Speaking out loud.--
Hey! Everyone listen to me carefully. Just for few minutes hear what I'm about to say. See here is the thing, you all have been blaming me for trying to steal me best friend's boyfriend. you all have been saying things that you heard from their side of the story. Now its the time to hear mine! My side of the story. It was September, the school started, the classes were changed i didn't know anyone except Chris, in my class. There was this guy James, soon we became friends, actually better than friends, best friends. Around November Chris and James introduced us, me and Elizabeth to Scott. That time I would never think "oh I might like this guy in future" or "oh this guy is cute" I just thought he was a normal guy. About a month later Elizabeth, Chris and James were saying "oh you guys would make a cute couple with Scott". But I wasn't even thinking about it. They kept saying it. It was about the end of December I was actually like " I think I like him... Scott". He was kind of a dirty person, he would do a lot of dirty jokes, just like me. Then in few weeks we would make these dirty jokes to each other but there were these times he got mad at my jokes. There no different than his. Elizabeth would also force me to do these weird jokes which he would get really mad at them, wasn't my purpose but he would. Even though the jokes were not mine I would be the one who would get blamed for them. We were still friends though. In few weeks Elizabeth came to me and told me that she also liked someone... oh by the way she knows that I like Scott. I was like tell me tell me everyday. She wouldn't tell me. in few weeks I felt something. like she also liked Scott. But there was no way because she was one of the reasons I started liking him. In few days again she call me and says " oh I like Scott too". I was sad and mad at the same times but I told her I wasn't. Inside me I was like "even though if he doesn't like me please I don't want him to like her either." In few days I get this feeling again that he likes HER not me HER. So I went and told her that I didn't like him anymore, I still did but I just told her I didn't. In few days, again, she texts me "Scott just told me he likes me". I have never felt like the way I felt when she told me that. She asked me if she should say yes to him request or no. I told her to say yes because I didn't want to show my feelings. Anyways I don't think she cared. I sat on my chair and started crying, she asked me if I was okay and I said yes but I really wasn't. I was sad and I could cry. So I did. I started crying. I couldn't stop. I cried I cried and I cried. Then I stopped. Next day at school, they acted nothing like bf and gf. So I asked her.. she said she doesn't want to show it to everyone. I said okay. Few days later she says that she broke up with him. I was happy but also sad for her. Thats what she gets i said inside me. Everyday she said she hates him she hates him she hates him. Then he comes to me for advise like I'm his best friend. I tell him it wasn't his fault she broke up with him. Days pass she comes to my house for sleepover and I make them talk finally just as friends though. My purpose was nothing more. In few days they start texting and even calling each other on phone. I still like him btw. My feelings haven't changed. Few days later I catch them in girls locker room kissing. James was there he told me not to go in there but I did anyways. Then I feel terrible. She doesn't come after me surprisingly. She didn't say "Jean wait". She just let me leave. James comes after me instead and tries to make me feel better. That moment i see that James is the only one who actually cares about me so I hug him and leave. days pass again I see Scott on my was back home. He talks to me and says few casual stuff. All of the sudden he tries to kiss me and touch me in a weird way. He forces me to kiss him and then there is Elizabeth comes out right when he kisses me. I tell her it was him she thinks I'm lying. Calling me a slut and a whore. Making rumors about me. Like i was trying to steal her boyfriend. But the thing is the only person who supports me during that time is James. He believes me. he doesn't blame me like the others. So I start to think. I think he likes me. A smile on my face. About 2 weeks later Scott catches me on my back home and tries to rape me. Right there is James saving me like a superhero. I cry and cry and cry. Elizabeth still doesn't believe me. Calling me a slut and a whore again and making more rumors. The girl that has been my best friend my sister for 10 years, stabs me from my back. I don't like Scott anymore, no way I stopped long ago. James is there he comes up to me and looks at me. I pull him and kiss him. Elizabeth sees it and make seven bigger rumors. I'm tired. I cant do it anymore. I think of killing myself. I then decide to talk to you guys. Tell you my side of the story. Now you all can go to Elizabeth and make more rumors but when I kill myself know that these were all true and I have been raped by Scott, betrayed by my sister Elizabeth and brought back to life by James.
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