"Hey why haven't you written anythi--- "
"Shhhhhhhhh"
"But-"
"Shut your mouth you small organism before I rip your vocal cords out and throw them into the never ending abyss of my imagination"
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Regret.
Raindrops pattered furiously against asphalt, clouds darkening the sky into a dull,monochrome, canvas that made all surrounding noises void against the sound of downpour. With the surrounding area of the city left bare, no one would here the soft moans and pained groans that emitted from an alley.
Sprawled on the floor was a young man with scuffled clothes and battered face, dull golden irises staring at the sky, watching the clouds roll by, ignoring his existence, the same existence that was slowly beginning to fade, slipping through his fingers just like the scarlet that seeped through his clothes and mixed with the water around him.
He just watched, letting the rain drown him. He had nothing to live for after all, nothing left at least. Whatever had occurred before the scene right now was his own recklessness and wrong life decisions getting back at him, finally opening his eyes to the reality he had tenaciously tried to ignore. A wretched cough emitted from his throat, blood that had pooled in his mouth spurting out.
His chest heaved up and down, going slower and slower as his heartbeat calmed, the pumps feeling heavier and heavier, exhausting him further. The lacerations done to his body had begun to feel numb, along with his fingers as his body temperature began to succumb to the frigid air. Yet, even with all of this. He felt a strange type of pain, it wasn't phsyical pain yet it caused his heart to sting, almost as if someone had stuck a needle into it. The same pain caused him to feel empty, like a hollow carcas. He pondered on it, trying to figure out what it was before the sane function of his brain stopped working. Now, what was it...?
Regret.
Ah, that's the word. Regret. He couldn't think of the exact definition for the word but it fit perfectly his state of mind. He regretted a lot of things...and those memories, the thoughts of what he regretted made his heart feel heavy yet empty at the same time,
He regretted not accepting his family's help, regretted not standing up for his friends when they were bullied by their own gang, regretted not going to aid his friends in battle and just running away with the others, letting them die. He wondered if they also died like this, filled with regret, or maybe they died a painless and quick death that wouldn't let them ponder on these things. Honestly he would also like to die like that but this is what he deserved, his karma.
But the one thing he regretted the most above anything else was letting his heart get strung and monopolized by that mans sultry words, to let himself follow him like a lost dog, obeying his every beck and call. Had he just listened to his family he wouldn't have died, he should've just tried to clear the dullness of his life with other means, not with the thrill of illicit activities and carnal desires.
But now here he was, no one would come to his aid. Not his family, his friends from school nor his gang. He'd die alone, his family would grieve for him for sure and he'll appear as another victim of murder in the newspaper but soon everyone would move on, only being remembered as the foolish son and that's all, only mentioned at family gatherings once or twice over the years.
There was no fulfillment, no "I can die happily" just a void that was never filled which made him depressed, and that depression weighed heavily on his heart.
If he could laugh, he would've broken into a fit, mocking himself but he couldn't, his throat was sore and his lungs burned, by now he could probably count his own pulse without having to use his fingers.
He took in his last breath, taking it in for a few seconds before letting it out, along with his last words. "I'm sorry.."
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Short story I wrote recently, it was a submission for a writing group and I was visiting those 'dark' places everyone has and bled this out. Originally it was a lot,lot, darker than this but I cut it up and fixed it. Enjoy.
