Oblivion (Completed)

Henley

Five Years Ago - Music Festival

"This is the best damn day I've had in a long time," he says.

His voice is smooth and soft, and I shiver when he whispers in my ear. It's not just his warm breath against my skin; it's what he's saying and the way it makes me feel. I can't explain it, can't begin to wrap my head around it, because it doesn't make sense.

And though I don't say it back, it's the best damn day I've ever had.

The sun is setting and I'm filled with an incredible sadness that I never expected. I've known him for less than a day, and in another few hours, we'll go back to being strangers. We've no reason not to. We live thousands of miles apart, and it'd be foolish to think we might stay in touch. But as I feel his warm chin rest softly on my right shoulder, I realize it won't be easy to say goodbye.

I'm quiet as he holds me - so quiet I know we can both hear every breath I take. My stomach swirls with emotions I don't yet understand, but I've got an idea of what it could be. I bite my lower lip and turn in his arms so I'm facing him. I know what will happen when I look up; I'll feel it again. I'm not sure I want to feel it again, because I'm the type who doesn't get attached.

But his hands are on my waist and his thumbs work small circles on the bare skin just above my hipbones until I do look up. And just like I figured, his eyes kill me. They're big and gentle and I see something in them I've never seen in anyone else. It's not lust or challenge or pity; it's a million things rolled into a single look that can't be defined by any one word other than Ryan.

My fingers find his cheeks and run across the light stubble there. I want to memorize him, and this moment, because everything about it is amazing. In the background, I hear Saint Forever, a song I've probably heard a thousand times. Now I'll never be able to listen to it again without thinking of his eyes on mine.

This is the sweet misery I've heard of but never believed or understood. It's hard to kick back and enjoy the rest of the night when I already feel this enormous loss. For once, I care.

I open my mouth to speak before I realize I have nothing to say. I'm afraid of spouting something off like an idiot, or that these crazy emotions I'm experience are exclusive to me and he feels nothing. But I can't believe that, not with the lopsided smirk on his face. Not with the way he's holding onto me like I'm his life support.

Our short story began in the wee hours of the morning, as I tried to retrace my steps through this muddy field to find my phone. I was lucky enough to smack right into him, and from the first moment I looked into his eyes, I knew he was trouble. Not the bad kind, but the heartbreaking kind.

Not only is he the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, he's kind and fun, and it didn't take much for me to place a little bit of trust in him, which is more than I've done for anyone in the last 13 years.

Our day might seem ordinary for anyone else, but as we walked and talked and listened to music, I felt free. For a little while, I wasn't worried about my parents. I laughed so hard that my face hurts. I had fun. So much fun.

It's not over.

"You look tired. You wanna head back?" he says, and I shake my head and smile. His forehead presses into mine and I soak in the feeling of closeness, the scent of mud and cigarettes and some sort of light soap.

My arms slip down from around his neck until my hands fall flat against his chest, but I'm not pushing him away. Beneath my shaky hand, I feel his quick heartbeat. Music is now blaring from the stage a few hundred feet in front of us, but somehow I can still hear my heartbeat in my ears.