A lot of people have asked me lately, one person in particular actually, if I am over him. The answer I give her? Yes. The reality? No.
But I gave him up. The relationship wasn't working out anyway. No calls, or texts. Primarily because he didnt have a mobile. But no facebook messages either. I was lonely, sad and to be honest the relationship felt out of my control. Like I was a puppet, and my master decided to put me away for a while.
Also, I still had feelings for my previous boyfriend. Completely hormonal feelings, you know... yea, those kinda feelings. Don't go judging me though because they are very common 'feelings' for any warm-blooded teen. So I felt a little guilty about those feelings. Especially because this sweet, adorable, wonderful guy didn't give me those same feelings.
And most importantly, I didnt want him getting caught up in all the bullsh*t surrounding me at the time. Now before you go thinking I was being a matyr or unfaithful or anything else i have this to say; I seriously liked him, but I was not ready for a relationship.
When I was with him I had become closer to a lot of girls, and as things go when a girl has a boyfriend, i actually became distant with most of my male friends. As expected, after the breakup my friendship with those girls became strained (they thought I was after their boyfriends) and my male friends got closer again. Two of my ex boyfriends actually got REALY close.
But that is another story, for another day.
Welcome to Chaos ~ Fantasy
