Animus

4, How Much I'll Do

I was in pain. I was in shock. She was all I had, all I ever wanted. And now I could never see her again.
"You okay bud?" My dad asked
"No.." I quietly replied
I looked at him, I hated life, I wanted to kill myself, that doesn't help my situation though does it. Kids at school would constantly call me emo over and over again, making fun of me for it. I HATED it so much that I wouldn't be surprised if I purposely put myself in the damn coma
"I miss her.." I said
"Who?" My dad asked
I didn't answer him, I just cried for hours and he didn't even question it. ELLIE would've questioned it, but Ellie doesn't fucking exist so I guess I'm trash now. Is that what I am? Emo trash? Shit left on the ground to rot? probably at this point. I thought about shooting myself, no one will leave me alone long enough. If suicide wouldn't work then I guess I had no other choice than to try and put myself back into a coma so I could see Ellie again, if that's even the dream I'd have. I don't fucking know, I just knew I had to do something, ANYTHING to get her back.
"Stop being sad" Daniel said, this got me mad.
"Shut the fuck up!" I growled, he didn't do nothing. I almost hate this more than I do myself. Why would I dream of a girl who I deeply love. To the point of giving up my real life just to be with, and I'll do that trust me.
"I love you Max" I remember her saying​. It tore me apart to think about I wanted to kill myself so badly, maybe in pergatory I'll get to live a life with her. Or maybe not, point is I just couldn't live without her....