It's so hard. Reading that, knowing that's what you think. I know you're right, too, though. I'm tired of fighting it, of arguing.. my candle burnt out, Josh. Last night was the last I could handle. You left me so weak, and you don't even know it. You don't know how much you meant, how much I cared, how much I still do. I made mistakes here, our relationship didn't work out because I was the problem. Out us next to each other in a real, physical relationship, and we're absolutely perfect for each other. It wasn't our time. I want so hard to type three words to you, but you've asked me not to message you.. so, I won't. It hurts me so bad, but I won't. I'm going to try to move on. Don't hate me for it.. but don't love me. I never deserved you. You're going to find someone else, I know you will. You said I was once perfect, now tainted. Joshua, you're still perfect, don't let anything taint you. Be strong, be kind, be daring, be caring. Be everything I'm not. Be worthy, Josh. You are, you were so fucking perfect. Be worthy of someone else's love, they'll treat you so much better than I did. Don't ever blame yourself, either, you were never the issue. I love you. It hurts, it isn't a pure love.. This is a wicked one. This love is only there to tease, and pull, and push us. "The best things are just out of reach." Same city, same feelings, same year, but never being able to feel you. I still hope.. that in two years, I can still say those three words. I hope that we're best friends, and it goes back to how it was.. but it's physically there too.
I care.
